"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR!"TM SHOWCASE
Check Out Our Humor Writing Contest Results!
Congratulations to the Winners, Finalists, Semi-Finalists & Honorable Mentions in our
OCTOBER/NOVEMBER 2011
Writing Contest!
Click any headline below to see the full entry, then scroll up or down to see other entries in the group.
All entries are carefully reviewed based on our exclusive "H-U-M-O-R"SM judging criteria:
- H = Humor -- Does it make us laugh?
- U = Universality -- Is it fairly "clean"?
- M = Moxie -- Does it have plenty of zing?
- O = Originality -- Is it fresh and new?
- R = 'Riting -- Is it well-'ritten?
(OK, "Writing," but we couldn't judge entries on their "H-U-M-O-W", could we?)
You, too, can get in on the fun, get published and win your share of $250.00 in prize money!
Enter "America's Funniest Humor"TMWriting Contest to claim (or regain) a spot in our Humor Showcase!
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OCTOBER/NOVEMBER 2011 WINNERS...
(CLICK ANY TITLE TO SEE ENTRY)
An Inside Look At Financial Planning
By Vincent Bracco,
Balance sheet – this is the sheet you see underneath the high-wire act at the circus. The idea is, you, the investor, are on a
Christmas Shopping -- The Play
By Peter Quinn,
SCENE ONE Setting: Hallway decorated for the Christmas season, man hurriedly getting dressed, to “Go Christmas Shopping.” Disembodied female voice (can be pre-recorded so you
Meeting Men in Bars
By Nanci Williams,
I know why I am not scoring with Internet dating, and it’s the same reason I don’t do well in job interviews. Quite simply, it’s
Worst Christmas Present Ever?
By Jonathan Criswell,
January 2, 2016
Although no formal surveys have ever been taken , much thought has been given to the subject of Worst Christmas Present Ever. Before those of
Put That Checkbook Away!
By Larry Ryals,
MCI, AT&T, and Publisher's Clearinghouse have your number. They all have great deals for you that will change your life, enabling you to spearhead a
OCTOBER/NOVEMBER 2011 FINALISTS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
Tis the Season of the Whacker
By Kathryn Cureton,
My boys eagerly anticipate the holiday season. While some people might attribute their excitement to the return of Santa and piles of gifts, they would
For Lack of a Better Word
By Tom Harris,
According to Regina Brett of the Cleveland Plain Dealer, there are 1,010,649 words in the English language. Why is it then, when just one word,
Let's Wrap
By Kurt Isaacson,
Lately I’ve been thinking about the holiday season, and how it comes with the keeping of many traditions, such as the tradition of Eating Cookies
3 Stories That Didn't Make The Front Page In 2011
By Carl M.,
It’s that time of the year where we reflect and look back at the top news stories of the year. But, what about those stories
A House Divided
By Judi Veoukas,
“My three houses in England all have names,” the pompous British lady told the radio interviewer. “La-de-da” was my first reaction, but soon the snob
Toenails For Love
By Chris Weilert,
There is an old saying, "a happy mama means a happy home." Translated for husbands means, keep your wife happy and you might get some
Till Death, $79.95 Or Death Does Us Part
By Thomas Wheeler,
An unfortunate irony is that financial difficulties often contribute to a couple’s decision to divorce. yet it can cost thousands of dollars to hire a
The Gun Show: Anything but ParaNORMAL
By D. Michael Craft,
My dad asked me to take him to a gun show. He wasn’t sure how to get to the place so I agreed to drive
Vacuum Control
By David Crawford,
My dad asked me to take him to a gun show. He wasn’t sure how to get to the place so I agreed to drive
OCTOBER/NOVEMBER 2011 SEMI-FINALISTS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
Euro-Debt Crisis: Greek Democracy A Threat to Western Civilization
By Carlos Arnade,
European finance ministers thought they had a deal. Billions of Euros in new loans from 41 German banks and one anonymous French mattress company would
Market Volatility: Investors at a Loss Where to Put Their Money
By Carlos Arnade,
As Europe’s debt crisis deepens, as commodity and stock prices gyrate, as the U.S. budget breakdown increases the risk of holding treasuries, the debate over
Disco Balls
By Pete Ballard,
It was the same outfit John Travolta wore on the 1977 Saturday Night Fever album. At $50, the white, wide-lapel suitcoat, the black rayon shirt,
Jeff Who?
By Jeff Brown,
"Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.” -- David Ogden Stiers "Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten, but someone might
I NEED TO PEE
By Richard Farnham,
As men get older, say older than 50, and certainly older than 60, peeing can, more and more, become a case of less and less.
Give Me That Old Time Religion
By Tom Harris,
I am sitting here waiting for God to speak to me. He hasn't yet, and I'm not sure why. I mean, I'm here every day,
Morning Radio
By Kurt Isaacson,
Listener: Nothing like some music on the way to work! {Turns car radio on} Bob: Gooooooooood morning everybody! Welcome to the 96.5 Wakeup Show with
No Thanks To Christmas
By Kurt Isaacson,
It was no surprise to me when I heard Christmas music playing in Target on November 5th, since the retail Christmas season seems to begin
To Our Very Dearest Friends at Christmas
By K.J. Leisering,
Dearest ::::__ It’s been quite a year for the Looney clan. Roger lost his job at the Diatomaceous Earth Institute due to a pervasive soil
Scenes From A Maul
By Barry Parham,
(Full-contact shopping, American style) Last weekend, I went to a hockey game and a Black Friday sale broke out. Ah, Christmas. That magical time of
Race Results
By Lloyd S,
RESULTS OF RACES NOW IN LATEST FROM DERBY DOWNS Hopeless Junction; by Betsy Uppington The Derby Downs Race Track here in Hopeless Junction was the
OCTOBER/NOVEMBER 2011 HONORABLE MENTIONS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
SHE gave ME the Skank Eye??
By Heather Davis,
January 2, 2016
In a moment of momma weakness, I agreed to take The Daughters to the local water park. It’s not that I don’t enjoy the water
A Thanksgiving Day Tale
By Christopher Hivner,
January 2, 2016
There once was a turkey named Larry who lived in a small wood next to a hunting shack. The shack was owned by an exceptionally
Birthday Ponderings
By Kurt Isaacson,
January 2, 2016
I’ve been thinking a lot about birthdays lately, since mine is coming soon. As you grow older, you tend to become more philosophical about them,
The Story of Cain and Able and Disability
By David Jacobson,
January 2, 2016
Since the time of the early stories of the bible, disability humor has existed. You may be skeptical of this assertion so let me set
Au' Jus Really Trying To Cook Something?
By Paige Kellerman,
January 2, 2016
Did you know there are books out there comprised entirely of recipes? That's it. Nothing else... Not even a crossword puzzle or a Why Do
“Did I brush my teeth today?” and Other Reasons Why Motherhood Might Not Be Ready For Me
By Sonya Phillips,
January 2, 2016
As I sit here running my tongue slowly across my teeth, seriously trying to remember if I brushed them today, I can’t help but think
Hamster Infestation
By Linda L. Zern,
January 2, 2016
So many time saving, work reducing, stress minimizing gadgets (washers, dryers, microwaves, pressure cooking toaster mixers that broil) and so little time to figure out
Weight Room Complaints
By Eric Charbonnel,
January 2, 2016
1. People Grunting and making various obnoxious noises -- Yes I see that you are holding sixty pound weights in your hands. Yes that is
The Day It Rained $100 Bills
By Tara Cole,
January 2, 2016
It was a simple plan that got complicated quickly. I was road-tripping with my family up north to Escanaba, MI to purchase a new vehicle.
Congratulations To EVERYONE Who Entered!
If your entry was not recognized this time, please don't give up! Writing humor is a specialized craft, and it takes time and effort to master any craft.
- Some entries were well-written, but needed more work setting up the humor and punching up the punch lines. Try structuring your work with distinct set-ups and punch lines throughout the piece.
- Other entries had plenty of punch, but relied on coarseness or vulgarity, which limited their potential readership. Try writing as if your piece were for a daily newspaper to achieve the most universal appeal.
However, just by entering you made a great effort and we commend you for it! (You already did better than those who just thought about entering, but didn't even try!)
We hope you will enter again and look forward to seeing more of your work!
Enjoy more award-winning humor in our exclusive Humor Showcase:
Winners | Finalists | Semi-Finalists | Honorable Mentions
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