As I sit here running my tongue slowly across my teeth, seriously trying to remember if I brushed them today, I can’t help but think of some conversations I’ve had recently with a couple of my friends (male, female, single, and married) about Motherhood. What Motherhood means and all the responsibilities that come with it. One of the main responsibilities, I would imagine, is making sure that more than just your own teeth get brushed. You know, once the kid is big enough to actually grow teeth and stuff.
Everyday I wonder what it would be like to HAVE to take care of more than just myself. And sometimes, those thoughts can be a bit overwhelming. One of my friends has told me repeatedly that crackheads do it (it=being a mother) everyday. “So if a crackhead can do it, you can do it.” She has a point, but that’s not very reassuring. Being compared to a crackhead doesn’t exactly scream, “I have confidence in you!”
Still, I continue to wonder what Motherhood might look like on me.
I mean, I can see it now…
My kid would say something like, “Mommy, I know its cold outside, but this scarf itches so I don’t want to wear it. And this hat itches. And these socks itch, too!!”
And I would say something like, “But sweetheart, Mommy loves you, and I want you to stay warm so you don’t catch a cold.”
Then the kid would say something like, “But Mommy, THEY ITCH!!!!”
Then I would say, “Take ‘em off then.”
We’re in the waiting room at the Children’s Clinic because my kid has pneumonia.
But the extra sad thing is, knowing me, I probably wouldn’t have even gone ONE round with the kid; I would have caved immediately. Because I feel where this imaginary kid is coming from…that crap DOES itch!
Then again, there are signs that Motherhood might look good on me. For example, I LOVE cartoons!! So me and the kid could spend time bonding over episodes of The Simpsons. Or King of the Hill. And I’m a pretty decent spelller sometimes, so I could probably help the kid with its homework. And it would never go hungry because I can make it a mean bowl of cereal for breakfast. Can of tuna for lunch. And bowl of cereal for dinner.
So maybe I talked myself back into it. Maybe, just maybe…Motherhood IS ready for me. But until it…oh yeah, and A HUSBAND (almost forgot about that part) decide to find me, I will use this time in the interim to perfect my cereal-making.