"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR!"TM SHOWCASE
Check Out Our Humor Writing Contest Results!
Congratulations to the Winners, Finalists, Semi-Finalists & Honorable Mentions in our
2nd Quarter 2016
Writing Contest! Look for new results from our 3rd Quarter 2016 contest in the coming weeks!
Click any headline below to see the full entry, then scroll up or down to see other entries in the group.
All entries are carefully reviewed based on our exclusive "H-U-M-O-R"SM judging criteria:
- H = Humor -- Does it make us laugh?
- U = Universality -- Is it fairly "clean"?
- M = Moxie -- Does it have plenty of zing?
- O = Originality -- Is it fresh and new?
- R = 'Riting -- Is it well-'ritten?
(OK, "Writing," but we couldn't judge entries on their "H-U-M-O-W", could we?)
You, too, can get in on the fun! Would you like to get published? Win your share of $250.00 in prize money? You have to enter to be eligible!
Enter "America's Funniest Humor"TMWriting Contest to claim (or regain) a spot in our Humor Showcase!
2nd Quarter 2016 WINNERS...
(CLICK ANY TITLE TO SEE ENTRY)
The Jerk Whisperer
By William Schmitt, NY
June 28, 2016
I'm here today at Ralph Wilson Stadium in Orchard Park, N.Y.; home of the Buffalo Bills. The jerk's owner Linda has called me to the
The Back-Story Hour
By Joel Habush,
RING, RING: JOEL: Hello, this is Joel. The check is in the mail. KIM: Hi, Joel, this is Kim. I wanted to talk to you
Algebra™ May Be Right For You
By David Woodside, UT US
You’re at a time in your Middle School life when you can’t afford to slow down. You’ve worked hard to get here, and now you
The Tale of the Tome
By Christopher Hivner,
I buy most of my paperback novels at flea markets, yard sales and charity book sales, because they’ve just become too expensive to purchase new.
Life Lessons
By Carole Battaglia, NC US
Ever hear of a ‘preemptive pee’? Neither had I. It’s a plan I’ve adopted as I slide downhill to being seventy. I exercise this new
(In non-alphabetical order. Zack Zigler was mad as hell and wasn't going to take it anymore 😉
On Getting Older
By J.D. Griffith,
Mick Jagger, the eternal boy, needs to get a facelift before he shakes his hips on stage again. A facelift might not do him any
Fishnet Tights
By Donald Roper,
Yesterday I bought my first pair of fishnet tights. No, not for me Stupid, for my wife. Entering the hosiery store brought looks of bewilderment
Justice of the Wrong Piece
By David Woodside, UT US
The local 2006 elections were over and it was the only time in about 20 years that I hadn’t voted for the woman who married
(In non-alphabetical order. Zuzy Zyzzle was also mad as hell and wasn't going to take it anymore.)
SOAP 0PERAS
By lloyd, NY US
Are you a soap opera fan? I am not, however I always thought soaps were a female thing. Then I found out about a large
Home Economics 101
By J.D. Griffith,
I flunked it in high school . . . Home Economics 101, that is. I haven’t done a decent job of keeping house since I
Can't
By Janice Hastert,
I can’t live with that woman anymore. She’s so damned negative. No matter what great thing comes my way, she hounds me with “remember Murphy’s
That God-awful Driver’s License Photo
By J.D. Griffith,
I renewed my Georgia driver’s license yesterday. Starting the day with a shower, a shave, and a pot of coffee, I thought, “I hope the
Congratulations To EVERYONE Who Entered!
If your entry was not recognized this time, please don't give up! Writing humor is a specialized craft, and it takes time and effort to master any craft.
- Some entries were well-written, but needed more work setting up the humor and punching up the punch lines. Try structuring your work with distinct set-ups and punch lines throughout the piece.
- Other entries had plenty of punch, but relied on coarseness or vulgarity, which limited their potential readership. Try writing as if your piece were for a daily newspaper to achieve the most universal appeal.
However, just by entering you made a great effort and we commend you for it! (You already did better than those who just thought about entering, but didn't even try!)
We hope you will enter again and look forward to seeing more of your work!
Enjoy more award-winning humor in our exclusive Humor Showcase:
Winners | Finalists | Semi-Finalists | Honorable Mentions
Like to see your name in print? Love to rant and rave about your favorite topics? Channel that creative energy by entering our humor writing contests!
ENTER HUMORPRESS.COM'S HUMOR WRITING CONTEST!
Have Fun! Get Published! Win Cash Prizes!SM
- Entries should be 750 words or less.
- $250.00 in total cash prizes will be awarded. Five winners will be named.
- Winners, Finalists/Semi-Finalists & Honorable Mentions will be published online! Selections also may appear in optional print edition(s) with no book purchase required!
- Entry Fee is only $10, So Don't Miss Out. Enter Today!
- Multiple entries are allowed, including your columns previously published elsewhere. Each entry must include an entry fee.