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When Adrien Arpel's book How To Look Ten Years Younger came out in the 1980s, my teenage son rolled his eyes and asked, "Who the heck wants to look five years old?" My mother, nearly eighty at the time, said that even if she did look ten years younger, she'd still look … [Read more...]
9:00 p.m. I’m caulking the bathtub. I’m caulking the bathtub because I’m leaving on a trip. I’m caulking the bathtub because if the plane goes down I will not have to worry about friends coming over and commenting, “She should have caulked the bathtub.” 10:00 p.m. Caulking the … [Read more...]
Dear Daryl and Marilyn: I would like to thank you for trusting me enough to house-sit for you while you were away. I would like to, but the attorneys advised me to say nothing until we're certain no more lawsuits will be filed. Outside of a couple minor annoyances -- really, … [Read more...]
I’m not sure if I threw my back out. After this past winter, I don’t have the strength to throw out anything. During the last arctic blast of winter – which delivered a dumping of snow FedExed overnight from the Ural Mountains directly to my lumbar region – I did something to my … [Read more...]
For those unfamiliar with television physics, the hardest thing in the world to do is start a fire. Popular survival themed shows regularly round up aging boy scouts, campfire girls and pyromaniacs on sun baked islands equipped with flint, tinder and blowtorches in an environment … [Read more...]