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OPEN ON shot of woman changing a baby's diaper, looking as if she is about to pass outfromthe smell. The woman is wearing no makeup, her hair is messy and she is wearing an apron that is falling off her shoulders. ANNOUNCER (VOICEOVER): Oh, those putrid odors! CUT TO … [Read more...]
In my nightmare, a woman is pointing a gun. Still fuzzy upon awakening, I am relieved. I'm alive! Wait, what's that? My nightgown is wet. Blood? Heart pounding, I switch on the night light. No, the hot water bottle has burst and soaked me, the sheets and the mattress. Rising from … [Read more...]
Every summer vacation I ever had ended with the terrifying fear of going back to school. There’s even a name for that fear: Didaskaleinophobia -- because nothing describes the fear of school so aptly as a word you will never be able to pronounce or spell. My fears in … [Read more...]
"Grrrrreat! My phone died." Herbert fussed. "So, recharge it," Madge advised from her side of the bed. "No, it's not dead, I mean its dead-dead." "What's the difference?" "Dead can be recharged." "So – dead is not really dead?" "Right. But dead-dead means it's totally dead. … [Read more...]
I was going to lecture on the importance of hanging in there when it comes to self-improvement. Something my old mother calls “stick-to-itiveness.” Then I realized a pudgy, former two-pack-a-day smoker with a checkbook in the red is the last person who should be preaching the … [Read more...]