The San Francisco Kennel Club is having their annual dog show next weekend. How many of you own dogs? I love dogs. Aren’t they great? I own two myself. Ahhh, but how many of you own purebred, pedigreed dogs? People can go crazy with stuff like that, and that’s putting it mildly. … [Read more...]

Lately I find myself continually perplexed, maybe even a little haunted, by this stick family decal trend. At first I thought, weird and quickly forgot. Then, as if by the mere act of noticing, I couldn’t stop. They appeared everywhere. In the drive-thru line at Starbucks, the … [Read more...]

I'm sure everyone's heard that the world's supply of bees is mysteriously dwindling and soon mankind will follow suit. Without bees around to pollinate the majority of the crops we depend on, our food supply will disappear and we'll be left to eat each other. Eventually there … [Read more...]

I just learned that Barbie turned 50 this year. That settles it. I'm asking her out. She's perfect. For all you perennial single guys out there, she's perfect. She's petite and passive. She's always a sharp dresser and she's aged amazingly well. She's sexually dysfunctional, and … [Read more...]

Haircuts are so expensive these days. Last weekend they practically charged me two bucks just for walking through the front door. Then, to make matters worse, I didn't leave a tip. So it looks like everyone got screwed. Due to the price, the next time I get a haircut I'm going … [Read more...]