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Mick Jagger, the eternal boy, needs to get a facelift before he shakes his hips on stage again. A facelift might not do him any good, because he’s been a bit ugly forever, even in his youth; but it’d sure make the rest of us feel a whole lot younger. My generation grew up with … [Read more...]
Yesterday I bought my first pair of fishnet tights. No, not for me Stupid, for my wife. Entering the hosiery store brought looks of bewilderment from the staff. It was as if an alien, with funny ears and bulging eyes, had dropped in from the planet Bifukumonin, wearing nothing … [Read more...]
The local 2006 elections were over and it was the only time in about 20 years that I hadn’t voted for the woman who married me. I’ll call her Pattie. In 1984 Pattie was young and gorgeous like my then-fiancée. She had the same height, the same style, the same hips. My fiancée … [Read more...]
Many of you may have seen the movie Fantastic Voyage which was about the adventures of the crew of a tiny spaceship which was shrunk in size and injected into a human body. I hate to toot my own horn, but Columbia Pictures has just offered me a contract to be the set of the … [Read more...]
Yeppers, the die is cast. You’re going out on your own. I hear you. No more “kowtowing to ‘The Man,’”—if you really do talk like that. No more lots of things that are now just fond memories—the morning and evening commutes; meetings without end; insensitive supervisors and … [Read more...]