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I’m jealous of the hussy who speaks to my husband from his dashboard. Even though the tart talks non-stop, constantly giving him directions—“turn left at the light and go a quarter mile”—he LISTENS to her. All of a sudden, he’s listening? “Isn’t this great?” he shrieked, the … [Read more...]
Scientists say that the reason we fidget when we’re nervous is because the stress triggers an innate physiological response, leading us to unconsciously believe that we’ve sat on a plate of eggs Benedict. Interestingly, actually sitting on such a plate is surprisingly relaxing, … [Read more...]
Pet behavioural expert, Professor Dick Flipstick, wrote his treatise on canine behaviour while in a mental asylum. His most notable theory was inspired by his observation, “Water runs down the drain in a different direction south of the equator.” Convinced that the phenomenon … [Read more...]
The first week of school arrived at last. By the end of the week I had gotten most of the contact paper off my arms, legs and face. While I dread the end of summer Laura and I were running out of creative ways to entertain the little people. We frown on letting the kids watch … [Read more...]
"You ask me if I fish, but rather, you should ask if I know of fish.” -- Diatacleses, 22 A.D. Woo-woooo! I totally made that up. Serious writers like to drop quotes like groupies drop band names, but I’m not a serious writer. Most people say I’m not any kind of writer at all, … [Read more...]