"My mission is to create a world where we can live in harmony with nature.” -- Jane Goodall "My mission is to get the litter box scooped out before Lacy shows up." -- Jeff Brown Every day when I get home from work, I do what millions of other normal people do: I pan for gold in … [Read more...]

Drat! To get to the potluck supper on time, you have to be out the door in 20 minutes, and you've yet to start a covered dish. If Strange Cousin Herbert attacks the food line first, all the deviled eggs will be gone. This potluck is doomed. Wrong. Your ol' Uncle Burtie … [Read more...]

SPIT BATH! On the way to Aunt Betty’s two things always happened: All the kids got a spit bath from mom, and dad read the riot act. Don’t touch anything, don’t run, don’t ask for anything, don’t cause trouble, don’t move and don’t speak unless you're spoken to. Nobody goes … [Read more...]

Sneezing is the most expressive of the body’s involuntary functions. Make sure yours are extra special. Upon realizing that sternutation is imminent, today’s fashionable sneezer will pause in conversation and raise their eyebrows. This serves as a warning to bartenders and other … [Read more...]

I saw a bumper sticker on a van recently that said “In case of the Rapture, car’s yours.” Trying not to dwell on the missing “the,” it reminded me of when my mother believed that the Rapture was upon us. My mother had just finishing reading 88 Reasons why the Rapture will be in … [Read more...]