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I didn’t speak the language and I was nervous. Oh, I had taken some lessons and all, but I was not what you’d call fluent. So I took my handy translation phrasebook with me to the computer store. The line-up was long and I wound through the cattle fencing slowly. I tried to … [Read more...]
Shades of John Henry! Not satisfied with beating chess champion Garry Kasparov in 1997, now an IBM computer has whipped not one, but TWO champs – simultaneously – in a “Jeopardy!” tournament. It was tragic enough when machines began taking over our jobs, but now they play our … [Read more...]
There is a war going on in my kitchen. It’s between me and the ants. They are applying Cesarean strategies and I’m trapped like Vercingetorix at Alesia in his last attempt to fight off the Roman conquest of Gaul. I watch the ants building multiple-lane streets across the kitchen … [Read more...]
Our kids were out of the house on sleepovers, so my wife and I did what any other normal, healthy couple would do under such circumstances. We went for a nice dinner, a beautiful stroll along the beach, and then we went home and enjoyed some wild, unprotected swearing. You can … [Read more...]
I really wish you would turn this nonsense down. It’s time for my nap and you’re sitting here in your muumuu, watching the little Jesus people on the T.V. Let me in here. Stop hogging the chair. Let me in. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Let me in. I know you feel my paw. Okay, I’ll let a … [Read more...]