"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR!"TM SHOWCASE
Check Out Our Humor Writing Contest Results!
Congratulations to the Winners, Finalists, Semi-Finalists & Honorable Mentions in our
December 2007-January 2008
Writing Contest!
Click any headline below to see the full entry, then scroll up or down to see other entries in the group.
All entries are carefully reviewed based on our exclusive "H-U-M-O-R"SM judging criteria:
- H = Humor -- Does it make us laugh?
- U = Universality -- Is it fairly "clean"?
- M = Moxie -- Does it have plenty of zing?
- O = Originality -- Is it fresh and new?
- R = 'Riting -- Is it well-'ritten?
(OK, "Writing," but we couldn't judge entries on their "H-U-M-O-W", could we?)
You, too, can get in on the fun, get published and win your share of $250.00 in prize money!
Enter "America's Funniest Humor"TMWriting Contest to claim (or regain) a spot in our Humor Showcase!
Join The Fun! Enter Our Humor Writing Contest Today!
December 2007-January 2008 WINNERS...
(CLICK ANY TITLE TO SEE ENTRY)
The Man's Guide To Buying A Couch
By David J.,
Apparently our couch has reached its maximum saturation point and can no longer absorb liquids and semi-soluble food particles. The stains now have stains, and
Man Purse
By George Waters,
A man-purse. Right there in the supermarket, the guy was carrying a man-purse. He excused himself to move my cart, so he could reach the
No Savings Here, But Clip & Save Anyway
By Burton Cole,,
Growing up, my life was dictated by coupons. If there wasn't a coupon for it, Mom didn't buy it. Mom spent a good portion of
Twas The Flash Before Christmas
By Kathleen Norton,
January 2, 2016
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except my poor, ol’ spouse. My stockings were hung in
Golf's Longest Streak
By Tod McGinley,
In our Florida senior retirement community where the average age is coma, the highlight event of the year is the Super Senior Men's golf tournament,
December 2007-January 2008 FINALISTS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
How To Alienate Your Grandchildren In One Easy Lesson
By Judi Veoukas,
Today I’m babysitting my granddaughters, but conjugating verbs in my head at the same time. I’m not conjugating just for the hell of it. Today
A Kiss Will Cost You
By Burton Cole,,
I expected to find the dating service in a back alley. Instead, the crisp, uncluttered offices nestled inside a gleaming business tower. But those two
Have I Got A Cure For You
By Burton Cole,,
We have yet to discover the cure for the common cold -- but that doesn't stop us from spouting off enough home remedies to make
New Years Revolt-lutions
By Laurie Fabrizio,
I hadn’t even barely swallowed my last Christmas cookie or recovered from my New Year’s hangover and they appeared like Montezuma’s revenge. Thin, leering spokespeople
Got To Get You Into My Life
By Jennifer Graham,
Back in my college days, I dated an optometry student for a short period. I don't remember a whole lot about him, other than he
Resolving Mediocrity
By Mary McCarthy,
New Year’s Resolutions are awful. They basically set you up for failure. I remember my parents ‘giving up smoking’ every January 1. After about three
Farewell Funky Chicken
By Kathleen Norton,
Baby Boomers grew up with one mission: We would NEVER dance like our old fogey parents. This explains the Frug and the Boogaloo. Turns out
December 2007-January 2008 SEMI-FINALISTS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
Hot Dogs and Ice Cream
By Ken Bobrosky,
When I was a child I loved to go to a baseball game. Indulging in a hot dog and an ice cream cone was always
Wanted: Someone To Fill Ice Trays
By Burton Cole,,
My wife and I were shopping at a local grocery store recently, when our teenage daughter called us on her cell phone, asking us to
Teeth Like God's Shoeshine
By Dr. Zanzibar E. Fleece (a.k.a. Ryan Glaser),
The uber-coveted job interview that would buoy your means above the poverty line proceeded swimmingly until you flashed that "blue chip" grin with more color
Just Desserts For The Finicky Eater
By Sue Anna Langenberg,
I was having a pleasant Sunday breakfast recently with my daughter and new son-in-law at a local restaurant. We had just returned from the buffet
TXT Message
By Carol MacAllister,
I Kn txt. Kn U? Even though I’m past the modern girl age, I know the current skill of text messaging on my cell phone.
On Death and Ceramics
By Jim McInvale,
The mood at the gathering was a bit solemn - but then it was a funeral. Still, it really was no more somber than my
Wonder Inbred
By Ian Samalya,
I love reading, writing, and watching television (thank you Americas Next Top Model). However, in my “spare time,” when I really cannot get out of
Laura Snyder
By North Carolina,
The Law of Gravity ought to be repealed. Yeah, I know it keeps things attached to solid ground so we’re not all flailing fruitlessly in
Jury Duty
By Daryl Trowbridge,
Recently, I took part in the revered, time-honored, civic responsibility known as jury duty. It was everything I expected it to be—and more. The morning
December 2007-January 2008 HONORABLE MENTIONS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
A Guide To American Accents
By Curt Smothers,
January 2, 2016
American English as spoken in the USA has many regional variations. From northern Maine to southern Mississippi, natives speak differently. This article is a handy
Grace Of The Amazing Aging
By Jady Cody,
January 2, 2016
My parents are old. Well, my dad is anyway. He is a senior, which is age 55 and older. He is four years into his
I Sold My Soul To The Warehouse Store
By Gigi Harrell,
January 2, 2016
Pick your poison, Sam's, BJ's, or Costco, they are all the same. They sucker you in with milk at $2.99/gallon and the next thing you
Hiker's Mirage
By Seth Holland,
January 2, 2016
During a long distance hike the body begins to crave certain things. The obvious longings are hot showers, soft beds and fast food. However one
The Long Ride To Empty Nest University
By Patty Kimerer,
January 2, 2016
You’re motoring along through life and then Boom! A blue pair of Hanes underpants knocks you right on your bloomers. Oh, right, an explanation. It
Patriots Apocalypse Now
By Daniel McGinley,
January 2, 2016
I’ve been involved with the NFL for several years now, but I’ll never forget that fateful night I was brought to New York for an
No, You're Stupid
By Yvonne Minassian,
January 2, 2016
Sure plenty of people told me they'd grow fast, but they also told me my GE 'fridge would become a classic. Well, in the case
Attention: Bra Rage Strikes Nerve
By Kathleen Norton,
January 2, 2016
Crucial Boomer Gal Alert: Bra Rage is even more widespread than originally feared. Since I wrote I will attend a “Bra-fitting Event’’ only after men
Ed Norton Was NOT My Father
By Kathleen Norton,
January 2, 2016
When the Ed Norton t-shirt first went over my head, a cold sweat rolled down my neck. The second time, the ear ringing let up.
The Blind Date
By Linda Rhodes,
January 2, 2016
He said he was tall, worked out every day, had curly brown hair on his head. But my blind date had altered the truth- THESE
A Man's Home Is His Kid's Castle
By Randy Richardson,
January 2, 2016
There was a time, I am told, when a man's home was his castle. But I'm pretty sure that is the stuff of legends and
Congratulations To EVERYONE Who Entered!
If your entry was not recognized this time, please don't give up! Writing humor is a specialized craft, and it takes time and effort to master any craft.
- Some entries were well-written, but needed more work setting up the humor and punching up the punch lines. Try structuring your work with distinct set-ups and punch lines throughout the piece.
- Other entries had plenty of punch, but relied on coarseness or vulgarity, which limited their potential readership. Try writing as if your piece were for a daily newspaper to achieve the most universal appeal.
However, just by entering you made a great effort and we commend you for it! (You already did better than those who just thought about entering, but didn't even try!)
We hope you will enter again and look forward to seeing more of your work!
Enjoy more award-winning humor in our exclusive Humor Showcase:
Winners | Finalists | Semi-Finalists | Honorable Mentions
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- Entries should be 750 words or less.
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