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"The British Broadcast Radio News Service now takes you to Cyprus for this important announcement... Come in Sir Plympton Gnithwold." There was deepening and fading static, followed by several noise bursts, probably caused by short circuits or loose solenoid transistors and/or … [Read more...]
"Mommy! I'm a bidj! I'm a bidj!" She's smiling and giggling, squirming excitedly in her car seat. "What?" I ask her, trying to buckle her in while she's squirming. "I'm a bidj!" Right then I stop what I'm doing and mentally play back what she just said. Did my darling little … [Read more...]
In order to keep our romance alive, my wife Laura and I attempted to engage in a ritual we had only heard about from “friends who knew friends who knew someone who did this.” I’m speaking of course about the mythical “Date Night,” wherein a married couple picks one night a week … [Read more...]
Ready to watch the World Series opener, I bop into the master bedroom and zero in on my remote when I see my wife sitting on the floor of our bathroom, shaking and looking scared, clutching what appears to be a Popsicle stick with two pink lines. “Hey, where’d you find a … [Read more...]
Tall, dark, handsome and please don’t be gay. This is what my headline should read on my Internet dating profile. “If I meet one more not-gay-but-loves-musical-theater guy, I’m giving up,” I say to my friend who is pregnant with her third and fourth (yes, twins). She laughs and … [Read more...]