Didn’t a brilliant man named Isaac Newton once say if a professional midget wrestler has seen far it is by standing on the shoulders of Andre the Giant? I think so. I think his brother Fig said that a keyhole doubles as a midget-peep-hole. I have peered through the voyeuristic … [Read more...]

When I was in 7th grade, my neighbor, Robin, climbed onto the school bus one Monday morning sporting a mop of hair so greasy you could have lubricated your skateboard wheels with it. As Robin plunked down on the seat next to me I stared surreptitiously out of the corner of my eye … [Read more...]

My doctor told me to lose some weight. For this pearl of medical wisdom, I spent two hours reading outdated magazines in his outdated waiting room. I may not have a bunch of framed medical degrees hanging in my bathroom, but I do have a mirror and a scale; both of which can … [Read more...]

At the entrance of our local grocery, you will find an antiquated and all but abandoned contraption mounted to the wall. It is not the cotton gin, or the Floridian voting machine. Nor is it Ed McMahon. It's a payphone, wedged right there between the Beanie Baby Shoppe and the … [Read more...]

I think from time to time we all do things we know aren't good for us. It's just part of the human condition to take a little risk, have a little fun...to be a little stupid, and then pay for it. One person stays up late for a movie, and misses his alarm clock the next … [Read more...]