-Paying Farmers Not to Grow Crops is Not Enough-- In a desperate effort to cure the expanding obesity epidemic, the Department of Agriculture has announced a plan to subsidize voluntary hunger. Modeled after the Department’s acreage set-aside program which pays farmers not to … [Read more...]

Announcer 1: ... And we’re back from that minute cell identification break. In case you are just tuning in to the microscope we are LIVE! At the Sub Atomic Stadium. Featuring the Flagellumless Parameciums versus the Two Celled Amoebas in the Chromosome Cup! My name... is not … [Read more...]

“(Former astronaut Lisa Marie Nowak) must stay away from the victim Colleen Shipman and has to write a “sincere” letter of apology to her within 10 days.” Associated Press item in the Cleveland Plain Dealer, November 11, 2009 Dear Ms. Nowak: All of us at … [Read more...]

No one gets into the supermarket checkout line expecting an uplifting experience. Then again, except for me, no one expects to be reduced to a cowering, simpering, drooling fool while waiting to pay for his groceries. When I approach the checkout line, my stomach churns, my … [Read more...]

Conversation overheard outside a comic book store: Teenager 1*: Did you hear that? Teenager 2*: What? Teenager 1*: She “whatevered” me. Teenager 2*: Who? Teenager 1*: The chick at the counter. She “whatevered” me. I should have been the one to “whatever” her! Teenager 2*: Go … [Read more...]