“Do you love me?” means we, or more accurately I, need to return something to the store, redecorate the garage, or rearrange the back yard. The very first week I met my wife she persuaded me return a curtain rod she had purchased a year before. Over the years there have been … [Read more...]

Just when I thought things couldn't possibly get any more dysfunctional, he shoved the car door open and literally did a tuck-and-roll onto the off ramp embankment that would make Jean-Claude Van Dame green with envy. We're talking, ejected himself from a moving vehicle in a fit … [Read more...]

My husband hardly ever gets sick, which is good, because he pretty much stinks at it. I guess you could say being ill ticks him off, and I mean that literally. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Like my husband, many people see illness as an irritating interruption. Sometimes, … [Read more...]

One day I was feeling guilty about sending my darling wife Regina to work while my unemployed self stayed home. I asked her if there were any household chores that should be done. “The bathroom floor needs scrubbing.” “I can do that! What do I use?” “There's a purple spray … [Read more...]

My Super — ain’t nothin’ super about him. Never mind, yes there is. There’s the super-tardiness and the super-tawdriness. The super-incompetence. The super-chicanery. And I’m long past super-outraged. When I first moved in, I showed him about 3 sets of urgent repairs he needed … [Read more...]