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My mother and stepfather have retired to what she calls “the country.” If you’re picturing cows, pigs, and chickens, erase that image. They moved into a subdivision with 350 beige houses. Still, to my mother it’s the country because “it’s near farms.” In truth, the closest farm … [Read more...]
I am a woman with varied interests. I am fond of animals. I play musical instruments. I like to watch crime shows and British situation comedies (and by watch, I mean hoard the DVDs and watch them repeatedly until my corneas glaze over). I like to read any humorous material I can … [Read more...]
Can you conceive of a civilization where no one is ever considered unreachable? Oh. Right. Forgot. Apparently, I’m the only person now residing on Planet Earth who intends never, ever to hear her purse ring while she’s interviewing, say, the Dalai Lama. No doubt His Holiness … [Read more...]
I weighed myself yesterday. I'm not sure if I was feeling lucky, or brave. One thing's for sure, nothing wakes you up quicker than stepping on the scale. Not even coffee. I have a measly 9 lbs. to lose and I am obsessed with losing these monuments to my overindulgence. This is … [Read more...]
1) Call the "will do odd jobs" guy whose number you found on the bulletin board at the supermarket. Offer him twenty bucks. He'll know what to do. 2) Turn up the Republican National Convention really loud on the television. (This won't stop the dogs, but it will give you a new … [Read more...]