I am not a thin man. I won't need to be buried in a piano crate but, more than once, I have used pliers to pull up the zipper on my pants. If a car salesman were trying to sell me, he'd use terms like “roomy” and “ample trunk space”. He might even mention “cup holders”, but I'm … [Read more...]

It appeared in my mail, disguised like an ordinary party invitation. It beckoned my attention with, “You are invited to the ultimate shopping experience…” Please, no more jewelry or home gadgets I thought. Curiosity got the better of me and I read further. “Imagine…viewing the … [Read more...]

I think about it all the time. I do it several times a week. I really want to do it every day. Everybody I know does it. It’s dirty laundry and it’s in my face constantly. I suffer from a kind of laundry phobia. Forget that adage about seeing the glass half empty or half full. … [Read more...]

We were on our first date. We had dinner, had gone to a movie, did coffee , and still didn’t want the night to end. So, we headed to my place at about 4 in the morning; he had to be at work by 7. Shortly after we got to my apartment, he asked me where my bathroom was. I told … [Read more...]

"I Chaperoned the Middle School Dance… and All I Got Was This Lousy Migraine" My hell began with an innocent email from the Middle School Band Director. She needed parents to chaperone the dance. The request landed on vulnerable ears: me, a guilt-laden mother who had neither … [Read more...]