Warning: Some of the observations in this essay may appear politically incorrect, boorish, or just plain snobby. My advice to the reader is that you should just “roll with it” and take comfort in the knowledge that your judgmental attitude toward my judgmental attitude is … [Read more...]

I taught myself to drive my very own car at a young age. My older cousin had become bored with his car, so my Mom acquired it for me. What a thrill to have my own car, no more stupid tricycle. I loved cars. This car, my very first car, resembled a 1954 General Motors sedan, which … [Read more...]

Do I look like an overblown, gaseous mess of a promotional billboard? I am not a blimp. The reference is absurd, illogical, and most politically derogatory, nonetheless, hurtful. Blimps are enormous aerial devices. You won’t catch me floating over the Super Bowl stadium anytime … [Read more...]

I was born with a brain deficiency. There is an absence of the domestic chromosome necessary to motivate me to successfully do housework. I was 27 before I realized that a discussion about Hoover upright was about a vacuum cleaner and not about the posture of a past president. I … [Read more...]