On a recent vacation, I pondered the warning sign posted as I crossed a state border: “Speed limit enforced by aircraft.” Does that message sound harsh? Maybe it’s the word nerd in me, but that term “enforced” just seems wrong. They monitor vehicular speed from the air, but how … [Read more...]

“Please, Baby. Please eat.” I droned to her tiny, flailing body. But, it was no use. What is wrong with me? I thought, beginning to panic myself. No matter what I tried, my perfect new baby found by breasts absolutely loathsome. Glancing down at the grotesquely engorged lumps … [Read more...]

“Honey,” my husband said one morning, “The scale is broken. It says I weigh three pounds more than I should.” I walked into our bathroom and stepped on the scale. “You’re right!” I gasped. “I’m five pounds over!” I drove to the store and bought a new scale. I hopped on first … [Read more...]

Ah, the workout. Our often futile attempt to get in shape. What shape? There are all kinds of shapes. A circle is a shape. If I choose to be a circle, that should be OK, right? Anyhow, there are different types of workouts you can find at the gym. And everyone's doing … [Read more...]