Being dragged to the Big Game? Give yourself a sporting chance by adhering to the following Constant: You don’t have to know the rules of the game; you just have to know the rules of watching it. Let’s say you’re not really into sports, but in a weak moment you gave into the … [Read more...]

In 2008, my colleague John, a professional accountant, retired; in other words, John had become a fully depreciated accountant with no remaining useful life. Or as Donald Trump would say “an ugly worthless write-off.” Although nobody knew John’s true age, with more double … [Read more...]

So there I am, sitting down to dinner amidst all of the bladder control, abdominal gas problems and gum disease commercials playing on TV during the DINNER hour! Toenail fungus? Beano commercials? What is it with these folks? They spend 10 seconds telling you that the gas won’t … [Read more...]

What do Alex Rodriguez, Lance Armstrong, and Louisa May Alcott have in common? Ok, yeah, chiseled calves would be an acceptable answer. What was that? A pathological fear of mermaids? I guess that works too, but not what I was thinking. No, I was referring, of course, to news … [Read more...]

My old Labrador, Scout loves to get drunk. When our plum tree drops fruit, he lets it ferment before eating them for a buzz, or more accurately to get inebriated. This year I curtailed his habit by telling the boys to pick and sell plums to anyone willing to drop 25 cents for a … [Read more...]