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I would like to say a word on behalf of an overlooked minority group, a mysterious, practically unknown subculture of beings who lurk on the outskirts of decent society. Who are these unnamed outcasts? Mutants, aliens, mimes? No, more shocking than that – they are females who … [Read more...]
(Editor's Note: Chris A. decided he wanted his last name shown after all!) I was pretty competitive as a kid (no one could smoke more of his father's cigarettes before throwing up, or run faster from his angry father), but I eventually learned my limitations and felt I no longer … [Read more...]
Oh look, another female teacher has fallen in love with a fifth-grader. It must have been the student’s cool 50 Cent Trapper Keeper or the romantic way his acne glistened in the sun. How does anyone fall in love with a teenage boy? When I was that age, I was all elbows and … [Read more...]
We moved to Ashford about five years ago. The first thing we noticed about Ashford is that it lacks an airport. The second thing we noticed is that it lacks people. I would mention a third thing, but nobody in Ashford counts that high. Anything above two is considered “poaching” … [Read more...]
Growing up, my life was dictated by coupons. If there wasn't a coupon for it, Mom didn't buy it. Mom spent a good portion of her family budgeting time clipping ads from the newspaper. We knew not to wander too closely to her at the time those scissors were snapping. Otherwise, … [Read more...]