"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR!"TM SHOWCASE
Check Out Our Humor Writing Contest Results!
Congratulations to the Winners, Finalists, Semi-Finalists & Honorable Mentions in our
August-September 2007
Writing Contest!
Click any headline below to see the full entry, then scroll up or down to see other entries in the group.
All entries are carefully reviewed based on our exclusive "H-U-M-O-R"SM judging criteria:
- H = Humor -- Does it make us laugh?
- U = Universality -- Is it fairly "clean"?
- M = Moxie -- Does it have plenty of zing?
- O = Originality -- Is it fresh and new?
- R = 'Riting -- Is it well-'ritten?
(OK, "Writing," but we couldn't judge entries on their "H-U-M-O-W", could we?)
You, too, can get in on the fun, get published and win your share of $250.00 in prize money!
Enter "America's Funniest Humor"TMWriting Contest to claim (or regain) a spot in our Humor Showcase!
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August-September 2007 WINNERS...
(CLICK ANY TITLE TO SEE ENTRY)
A Cabin For One
By Chris Adkins,
I once spent the month of January alone in a wilderness cabin. It was a fishing “lodge” owned by my buddy Bayonet Delhue, and it
Sweat of Beads
By Dan Bain,
The only thing more traumatic than the first day of school is the first day of camp. Kindergarten offered experienced teachers and an established curriculum;
Beware the Charm and Kneecaps of Gangly Sixth-Grade Boys
By Jade Cody,
Oh look, another female teacher has fallen in love with a fifth-grader. It must have been the student’s cool 50 Cent Trapper Keeper or the
Everything I Need To Know About Being Black, I Learned From Kenny Rogers
By Mark Harris,
January 2, 2016
Coming of age in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia, it became clear to me – and to those around me – that I was
I Didn't Do Drugs In The Seventies
By Drew Miller,
I didn't do drugs in the seventies. In an era when you could do time for doing thyme, to not do drugs was strictly a
August-September 2007 FINALISTS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
I Hate Shopping!
By Ken Bobrosky,
I hate shopping! I would rather perform laser eye surgery on myself or extract a wisdom tooth with a pair of pliers, than go shopping.
Law and Order: Missing Body Parts
By Laurie Fabrizio,
“911 operator, how can I help you? “Help… I’d like to report a robbery,” I said wiping the tears from my eyes. “The address is
Becoming One of "Those People"
By Chris H.,
I fear that I am becoming one of “those people”. You’ve probably heard of “those people” before; they partake in a particular activity that for
A Tart With All That Tea
By Judy LaSalle,
Middle age has lowered my body’s center of gravity and taken some of my self esteem with it. In fact, a simple incident at the
Good Night?
By Mary McCarthy,
Three-Year-Old Apple of My Eye Sweet Baby Girl: "Mommy, can I sleep in your bed?" Exhausted Mother of Four: "No, honey, you have to sleep
The Three-Ring Circus Of My Life
By Ian Samalya,
They all say it’s easy, and in the beginning it is, trust me, it is. But what they don’t tell you is at times things
The Wedding Day
By Cathlene Smith,
The day of the wedding finally came. It seemed like a lifetime had gone into this moment; actually my entire life had gone into this
Nutrition Attrition
By Christopher Yeager,
A recent conversation with a nutritionist yielded the following dietary conundrum. According to her I was eating too much starch, equal to a cup of
August-September 2007 SEMI-FINALISTS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
More of Me to Love
By Chris Adkins,
I am not a thin man. I won't need to be buried in a piano crate but, more than once, I have used pliers to
"End of Days" for Granny Panties
By Laurie Fabrizio,
It appeared in my mail, disguised like an ordinary party invitation. It beckoned my attention with, “You are invited to the ultimate shopping experience…” Please,
Dirty Secret Confessions
By Mary Kirchhoff,
I think about it all the time. I do it several times a week. I really want to do it every day. Everybody I know
First Date
By Angelica L.,
We were on our first date. We had dinner, had gone to a movie, did coffee , and still didn’t want the night to end.
Chaperoning the Middle School Dance
By Mary McCarthy,
"I Chaperoned the Middle School Dance… and All I Got Was This Lousy Migraine" My hell began with an innocent email from the Middle School
Completely Lost In Translation
By Judi Veoukas,
My mother and stepfather have retired to what she calls “the country.” If you’re picturing cows, pigs, and chickens, erase that image. They moved into
My Shameful Obsession
By Kathleen M. Wooton, M.D.,
I am a woman with varied interests. I am fond of animals. I play musical instruments. I like to watch crime shows and British situation
The Last Holdout
By Marji Yablon,
Can you conceive of a civilization where no one is ever considered unreachable? Oh. Right. Forgot. Apparently, I’m the only person now residing on Planet
August-September 2007 HONORABLE MENTIONS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
Speak Up
By Carol MacAllister,
January 2, 2016
Mumblers have laced through the centuries. The Greek, Demosthenes, spoke to the ocean with stones in his mouth. In the 70s, my son listened to
Milk At A Starbucks
By Jim Monti,
January 2, 2016
I am an official milk addict, and I have to have a glass every morning. As a result of this, I always keep a weather
A Recent Trip
By Sue Thompson,
January 2, 2016
This past weekend my daughter and I were in Minneapolis for a wedding. As with all trips to Minneapolis, which include my daughter that is,
Busy Days
By Sue G. Thompson,
January 2, 2016
A few weeks ago I was working on a paper for school. I was in a hurry, not only because of my deadline, but also
Jeffie and the Hypodermic Skeeters
By Kathleen M. Wooton, M.D.,
January 2, 2016
It has been a bit rainy here in scenic New Jersey. By a bit rainy, I mean it has rained nine days out of the
The Twenty-Five Dollar Quarter -- My Summertime Tale of Woe
By Kathleen M. Wooton,
January 2, 2016
Summertime, and the living is easy...yeah, right. I have just finished five weeks of acting summer camp, and boy, are my tires are tired. Okay,
The Pet Conspiracy
By Carole Wyatt,
January 2, 2016
I’m certain in the pet world that a well-rounded owner is the preferred status symbol. I think my pets want me fat. They weren’t bringing
Handbag Hell
By Christopher Yeager,
January 2, 2016
Once upon a time there was a handsome prince who lived happily with his wife Cinderella till, one day, she dropped her handbag on the
Rule #752: Never Laugh Out Loud When Your Child Does Something You Don't Want To Happen Again
By Cameron Castle,
January 2, 2016
Today was finally a hot summer August day, which we here in Seattle have been yearning for. I was changing Carter’s diaper after his very
Tails of Courage
By Cy Creed,
January 2, 2016
Though several of my friends have cats, not one of them has actually ever purchased one. You don’t need to. They just show up. Like
Home Is Where The Fart Is
By Windy Lynn Harris,
January 2, 2016
When my alarm clock beeps I whack it with my hand and wait for my dog. She walks from her cozy canine blanket at the
We Are Not Amused
By Anita Lanning,
January 2, 2016
Recently, my Muse decided to go on strike. Alarmed at my dearth of words, the ones as a writer I rely upon, I do some
Congratulations To EVERYONE Who Entered!
If your entry was not recognized this time, please don't give up! Writing humor is a specialized craft, and it takes time and effort to master any craft.
- Some entries were well-written, but needed more work setting up the humor and punching up the punch lines. Try structuring your work with distinct set-ups and punch lines throughout the piece.
- Other entries had plenty of punch, but relied on coarseness or vulgarity, which limited their potential readership. Try writing as if your piece were for a daily newspaper to achieve the most universal appeal.
However, just by entering you made a great effort and we commend you for it! (You already did better than those who just thought about entering, but didn't even try!)
We hope you will enter again and look forward to seeing more of your work!
Enjoy more award-winning humor in our exclusive Humor Showcase:
Winners | Finalists | Semi-Finalists | Honorable Mentions
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- Entries should be 750 words or less.
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