"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR!"TM SHOWCASE
Check Out Our Humor Writing Contest Results!
Congratulations to the Winners, Finalists, Semi-Finalists & Honorable Mentions in our
4TH QUARTER 2012
Writing Contest!
Click any headline below to see the full entry, then scroll up or down to see other entries in the group.
All entries are carefully reviewed based on our exclusive "H-U-M-O-R"SM judging criteria:
- H = Humor -- Does it make us laugh?
- U = Universality -- Is it fairly "clean"?
- M = Moxie -- Does it have plenty of zing?
- O = Originality -- Is it fresh and new?
- R = 'Riting -- Is it well-'ritten?
(OK, "Writing," but we couldn't judge entries on their "H-U-M-O-W", could we?)
You, too, can get in on the fun, get published and win your share of $250.00 in prize money!
Enter "America's Funniest Humor"TMWriting Contest to claim (or regain) a spot in our Humor Showcase!
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4TH QUARTER 2012 WINNERS...
(CLICK ANY TITLE TO SEE ENTRY)
Pray It Forward
By David Poplar,
I am a devoutly religious person. Just ask any of my friends, family, or anyone in the courthouse. I believe passionately that I am a
The Sky is Falling—Thirty Percent Chance
By Joel Habush,
DRAMATIC, IMPORTANT SOUNDING MUSIC, E.G., Theme from Apocalypse Now; Theme from 2001, A Space Odyssey; or Muskrat Love, from Captain and Tennille. ANNCR: And now
A Letter From Santa Claus
By David Margolis,
Dear Kids: We have some serious problems at the North Pole. For many years we have run a deficit and our expenses have far outweighed
Red and Blue
By Yelena Mazour-Matusevich,
January 2, 2016
US Cultural Recognition Guide for Tourists: Reds and Blues Food: Reds: Double Bacon & Cheese Triple Monster Thickburger with Deep-fried Jumbo Chicken Rings Blues: Multi-purpose
Who Do You Belong To?
By Christopher Hiver,
The National Association of Organizations and Alliances (NAOA) released a report today stating that there are now over 1.5 million organizations, associations, alliances and research
4TH QUARTER 2012 FINALISTS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
Confessions of a Cross-Stitcher
By Mary Berger,
“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t work on my cross-stitch in the car,” I wanted to know. My other half and I were
I Got Your Back
By Jeff Brown,
“Don’t look back. Something might be gaining on you." –Satchel Paige “Don’t look back. Something might be drooling on you.” –Jeff Brown I Got Your
In Cod We Trust
By Patty Clark,
Mothers can be on their deathbeds and still have that gut wrenching nervousness about the well being of their children, which is why I formerly
Becoming A Socialite
By Cy Creed,
I have decided to become a socialite. Yeah, that’s right. And why not? I’m semi-retired, have some time on my hands and darn it, I
Blood and Sandals
By Joel Habush,
A Play In One Act Scene One The Throne Room of the Emperor Equus Gluteus Maximus Caesar, one in a long, diluted (and deluded) line
Burn This!
By Mike McHugh,
Some friends recently invited us to their mortgage-burning party. I wasn't all that excited about going, particularly since we had just re-upped with our lender
Happy New 14th B'ak'tun!
By David Woodside,
If you're reading this, the Mayan Long Count Calendar reset on December 21, 2012 and the prophesied end-of-world disasters didn't happen. Or maybe they did
4TH QUARTER 2012 SEMI-FINALISTS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
Big Mac/Grande Latte Divide
By Carlos Arnade,
Recent events have shown that the American people have become completely divided on attitudes towards the government, toward politics, and where to go for a
Dracula vs. the Scots
By Jeff Brown,
“I walk around talking to myself in accents. Usually people look at me like I’m a complete fruit loop." –Eddie Redmayne “I walk around talking
On the Edge of the Cliff
By Neil Friesner,
The scene: The White House Oval Office. The participants: The president and vice-president of the United States, a select group of senators, members of congress,
Exercise? Who, Me?
By Kathy Minicozzi,
Living a life of lazy, indulgent pleasure is a lot of fun, at least for those of us who would rather use our minds than
Potty Humor
By Chris Noland,
I work in what amounts to an office building with several departments sharing the second floor. I have a ridiculous addiction to Diet Coke, so
The Ticket Holder
By Peter Quinn,
Was it the thrill of the opening game, the unexpected double overtime victory, the camaraderie of my buddies, the ten dozen chicken wings medium with
Sixty Seconds
By Sandra Rae,
Sixty seconds! That’s all it took for me to go from a normal, stable woman to being completely insane. I’m a rational individual, except when
Navigating A Fork In The Road Called 50
By Terri Spilman,
Welcome to the, “I hope that was just a fart” years! That was the advice given to me by my parents via a greeting card
Making Friends
By Christopher Venckus,
I was asked to leave my weekly square dance lesson for the second time this month because the teacher didn't like my attitude. Even though
4TH QUARTER 2012 HONORABLE MENTIONS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
Trumped
By Dan McGinley,
January 2, 2016
I can still see the plastic jumbo cup rotating as it descends from a balcony rail, golden beer raining out into space as if a
The Importance Of Religion
By Lloyd S,
January 2, 2016
My religion is important to me in many ways. My family was not overly active in church when I was young. We celebrated the holidays
Weirdo Magnet
By Linda L. Zern,
January 2, 2016
Warning: Some of the observations in this essay may appear politically incorrect, boorish, or just plain snobby. My advice to the reader is that you
My First Car
By Kevin T. Boekhoff,
January 2, 2016
I taught myself to drive my very own car at a young age. My older cousin had become bored with his car, so my Mom
I Am Not A Blimp
By Rebecca Dolence,
January 2, 2016
Do I look like an overblown, gaseous mess of a promotional billboard? I am not a blimp. The reference is absurd, illogical, and most politically
Surfing Undomesticated Brain Waves
By Karen Gaebelein,
January 2, 2016
I was born with a brain deficiency. There is an absence of the domestic chromosome necessary to motivate me to successfully do housework. I was
The Erection Of The Beach Umbrella As Performed By Females
By Liz McDonald,
January 2, 2016
We live in coastal Rhode Island, a spring, summer and fall paradise. Within five minutes, we can be on the beach, gazing at Block Island
Congratulations To EVERYONE Who Entered!
If your entry was not recognized this time, please don't give up! Writing humor is a specialized craft, and it takes time and effort to master any craft.
- Some entries were well-written, but needed more work setting up the humor and punching up the punch lines. Try structuring your work with distinct set-ups and punch lines throughout the piece.
- Other entries had plenty of punch, but relied on coarseness or vulgarity, which limited their potential readership. Try writing as if your piece were for a daily newspaper to achieve the most universal appeal.
However, just by entering you made a great effort and we commend you for it! (You already did better than those who just thought about entering, but didn't even try!)
We hope you will enter again and look forward to seeing more of your work!
Enjoy more award-winning humor in our exclusive Humor Showcase:
Winners | Finalists | Semi-Finalists | Honorable Mentions
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