"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR!"TM SHOWCASE
Check Out Our Humor Writing Contest Results!
Congratulations to the Winners, Finalists, Semi-Finalists & Honorable Mentions in our
3rd/4th Quarter 2015
Writing Contest!
Click any headline below to see the full entry, then scroll up or down to see other entries in the group.
All entries are carefully reviewed based on our exclusive "H-U-M-O-R"SM judging criteria:
- H = Humor -- Does it make us laugh?
- U = Universality -- Is it fairly "clean"?
- M = Moxie -- Does it have plenty of zing?
- O = Originality -- Is it fresh and new?
- R = 'Riting -- Is it well-'ritten?
(OK, "Writing," but we couldn't judge entries on their "H-U-M-O-W", could we?)
You, too, can get in on the fun, get published and win your share of $250.00 in prize money!
Enter "America's Funniest Humor"TMWriting Contest to claim (or regain) a spot in our Humor Showcase!
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3rd/4th Quarter 2015 WINNERS...
(CLICK ANY TITLE TO SEE ENTRY)
Adopting a Dog: It Takes a Village. Also a Pooper Scooper
By Dave Jaffe,
We rescued a terrier, although why anyone would is beyond me. Terriers are what dingos strive to be – wild dogs semi-domesticated because there’s something
Close Encounters of the Idiot Kind
By Christopher Hivner,
Do you walk into a store and stop two steps inside the doorway so the man behind you trips himself trying not to run
How to Write Political Humor
By Joel Habush,
As you know, if you’re a writer, everything’s grist for your mill. And you’re right that politics are gristier than anything else. But if
Picking Up A Girl At The Bar: A Guide For The Socially Anxious
By Derek Andersen,
January 24, 2016
1. All right, first thing’s first: how drunk are you? Ok, not bad. But, are you wasted enough to walk over to a living,
Low-Key No Key: Breaking and Entering is Deceptively Difficult
By Nicole Sun,
You always hope that the locks to your house are secure against people trying to break in until you’re the one trying to break in.
3rd/4th Quarter 2015 FINALISTS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
Pointe Shoes
By Donald Roper,
Kristina, my twelve year old daughter, had been anticipating this day for several years. Of course I am referring to the day Kristina bought her
The Waiting Room
By J.D. Griffith,
The waiting room is where you spend an inordinate amount of time waiting to see your doctor—ten times the amount of time spent talking with
A Connecticut Yankee's Perspective on the California Drought
By Bill Katz,
I don't know how to break it to those poor guys in California, but we are drowning in water back east. We have so much
How to Properly Bathe in a Washing Machine
By Hannah Canetti,
It is sad but probably accurate to say that many of you have never considered bathing in a washing machine. You might wonder; “Can't
3rd/4th Quarter 2015 SEMI-FINALISTS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
Three Little Words
By Joanne Sell,
You know that older couple that holds hands and makes googly-eyes at each other in public? Birds twitter, butterflies dance around their heads and adorable
Acronymphobia
By Jane Harrington-Heide,
Texting of acronyms/abbreviations can be confusing; particularly if one is misinformed as to the meaning of standard texting acronyms. Imagine how embarrassed mom was in
No Such Thing as a Free Puppy
By J.D. Griffith,
In May 2010, a coworker offered me a free pointer puppy. The 8-week-old litter was in Pike County, about 90 miles south of my home
From the Pen of Someone Who Watches Too Much TV
By Kathy Minicozzi,
OPEN ON shot of woman changing a baby's diaper, looking as if she is about to pass outfromthe smell. The woman is wearing no makeup,
The Urge to Kill
By Ramona Scarborough,
In my nightmare, a woman is pointing a gun. Still fuzzy upon awakening, I am relieved. I'm alive! Wait, what's that? My nightgown is wet.
We Don't Need No 'Dreaducation'
By Peri Kinder,
Every summer vacation I ever had ended with the terrifying fear of going back to school. There’s even a name for that fear: Didaskaleinophobia
3rd/4th Quarter 2015 HONORABLE MENTIONS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
On the Joy and Hassles of Camping
By J.D. Griffith,
January 30, 2016
Camping under the stars at my place in the Northeast Georgia Mountains used to be such great fun thirty years ago, but it became a
The Twelve Days of Agony
By J.D. Griffith,
January 30, 2016
From Black Friday to New Year’s Day, I consciously avoid the inside of stores that have the annoying type of Christmas music piped through overhead
A Look Back At Yesterday
By Felicia Young-Wilkinson,
January 30, 2016
I stared at myself in the full-length mirror in my bedroom wondering where the fresh-faced girl of my youth had gone. You know, the one
Gas Station Roulette
By Debi Harris,
January 24, 2016
I think someone is spying on me. How else can I explain why, whenever I buy ANYTHING, the price is guaranteed to drop the next
On Stealing
By Mary G.,
January 24, 2016
My dog, Gracie, is an unabashed food thief, the Jean Valjean of dogs. In fact she once stole a baguette from the dining room table
Funeral Flowers
By Lloyd S.,
January 23, 2016
Everybody has noticed how flowers are arranged and labeled at a funeral home. What would it be like if the mourners who bought the floral
Death of a Roach
By Darrin B.,
January 23, 2016
“The weirdest thing happened to me today.” Husband roach said. “I was on the breadcrumb trail which usually leads to under the refrigerator, when I
DMV Visit
By Jen Waldron,
January 23, 2016
It’s fairly likely most of us will end up making a trip to the DMV at some point. Recently it was my turn, time to
I Saw Santa Claus
By Lloyd S.,
January 23, 2016
I went to a charity fund raiser breakfast this morning to help the local volunteer fire company and the American Legion. Since this is the
A Memorable Birthday
By Elaine Maly,
January 23, 2016
My birthday is January 8th. Two weeks after Christmas and one week after New Years, in the dead of Wisconsin’s winter. It’s usually not much
Love At First Fright
By Mary Roberson Wiygul,
January 23, 2016
It was my seventh grade year and fall had cast its spell on everyone in the booming metropolis of Pope, MS (population 246). At school
Congratulations To EVERYONE Who Entered!
If your entry was not recognized this time, please don't give up! Writing humor is a specialized craft, and it takes time and effort to master any craft.
- Some entries were well-written, but needed more work setting up the humor and punching up the punch lines. Try structuring your work with distinct set-ups and punch lines throughout the piece.
- Other entries had plenty of punch, but relied on coarseness or vulgarity, which limited their potential readership. Try writing as if your piece were for a daily newspaper to achieve the most universal appeal.
However, just by entering you made a great effort and we commend you for it! (You already did better than those who just thought about entering, but didn't even try!)
We hope you will enter again and look forward to seeing more of your work!
Enjoy more award-winning humor in our exclusive Humor Showcase:
Winners | Finalists | Semi-Finalists | Honorable Mentions
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