My dog, Gracie, is an unabashed food thief, the Jean Valjean of dogs. In fact she once stole a baguette from the dining room table and ran around the house with it, the ends of the bread protruding from either side of her mouth.
She is true to her French heritage, as basset hounds originate from France with basset translating as “low to the ground.”
She has been known to steal ears of corn, both cooked and uncooked, a box of cookies, my favorite goat cheese from the Warwick Farmer’s market, and a flank steak on my best friend’s patio table during a Memorial Day picnic.
Unlike Valjean, she is an unrepentant thief and would probably take the last morsel from a beggar. We call Gracie an opportunist for she takes any opportunity to grab her share of the family bounty. She is very good at it because we often don’t see it coming, like she is a stealth bomber waiting until we turn our heads to strike.
She is not the only thief in the family, however. My husband takes paperclips. They stick to him like a magnet and magically fall off when he comes home from school and land all over my dining room table. I am not a happy camper.
In the interest of full disclosure, I have been known to take pens from work, not in an intentional way, but in an absent- minded professor fashion. The staff has learned to hide the pens or they will wind up in the bottomless pit of my handbag.
Perhaps we all take something without even knowing we take it until it shows up and we , think “How did this get there?”
I remember from my Catholic upbringing that there are sins of commission and sins of omission. From what I understand, sins of commission are intentional and sins of omission are from a “failure to act or think intentionally about our behavior.”
Gracie, along with paparazzi and most politicians, are opportunists and therefore guilty of “commission.” I’d like to think my husband and I are guilty of omission, although you can be our judge.
Let’s face it, if we have lived we are all guilty by commission or omission. And I’d like to think we will all be forgiven some day, because if my husband and I have any chance of getting into heaven we’re not going without our food-stealing dog.