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Dear Daryl and Marilyn: I would like to thank you for trusting me enough to house-sit for you while you were away. I would like to, but the attorneys advised me to say nothing until we're certain no more lawsuits will be filed. Outside of a couple minor annoyances -- really, … [Read more...]
I’m not sure if I threw my back out. After this past winter, I don’t have the strength to throw out anything. During the last arctic blast of winter – which delivered a dumping of snow FedExed overnight from the Ural Mountains directly to my lumbar region – I did something to my … [Read more...]
For those unfamiliar with television physics, the hardest thing in the world to do is start a fire. Popular survival themed shows regularly round up aging boy scouts, campfire girls and pyromaniacs on sun baked islands equipped with flint, tinder and blowtorches in an environment … [Read more...]
The Fat Fairy flew in last night. She flits into my bedroom, sparkly wings creating the tiniest breeze. She wore a rhinestone-encrusted cape, pink tights and a tiara. She got right to work, pat-patting a new layer of fat onto my thighs. She never stops to talk. She’s too busy … [Read more...]
He’s back! Stallone has decided to resuurect the career of boxing's answer to Hoffman's Rainman. Forget the fact that Rocky Balboa is now older than Mick was in the original Rocky. The loveable pugilist with more comebacks to his credit than CHER has returned to make us believe … [Read more...]