I saw a bumper sticker on a van recently that said “In case of the Rapture, car’s yours.” Trying not to dwell on the missing “the,” it reminded me of when my mother believed that the Rapture was upon us. My mother had just finishing reading 88 Reasons why the Rapture will be in … [Read more...]

Collective nouns have long been a source of literary interest. We’re all familiar with a herd of cows, a school of fish and a flock of birds. Then, there are some that are lesser known: a gang of buffalos, a convocation of eagles, and a pod of whales. In today’s world, we are … [Read more...]

It was Christmas morning; my father was holding my trousers while he imitated a barber and made snipping noises with scissors. Even though they were my Sunday best trousers, they had patches on the knees and backside; a product of being a member of the poorest family in our … [Read more...]

If you haven’t heard, asphyxiation and foot binding aren’t just for waterboarding anymore. Water torture has a frozen counterpart and it’s called snowboarding. Snowboarding is a test of oxygen deprivation. Specifically, it tests whether a person can survive the Colorado Rockies … [Read more...]

I have Jew Tummy. That’s right, Jew Tummy. It’s caused from thousands of years of Jews falling in love and having children. I am one of those children. I booked a colonoscopy because along with bloating and cramping, symptoms of Jew Tummy include crippling paranoia and rampant … [Read more...]