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SCENE ONE Setting: Hallway decorated for the Christmas season, man hurriedly getting dressed, to “Go Christmas Shopping.” Disembodied female voice (can be pre-recorded so you won’t have to pay SAG wages). "Honey, where are you going? It’s Christmas Eve,your mother is expecting … [Read more...]
I know why I am not scoring with Internet dating, and it’s the same reason I don’t do well in job interviews. Quite simply, it’s the inherent lack of alcohol. I am a better person with vodka. Ask anyone. Dead sober I am riddled with self-doubt and nervous jitters. One or two … [Read more...]
Although no formal surveys have ever been taken , much thought has been given to the subject of Worst Christmas Present Ever. Before those of you who have received vacuum cleaners, chocolate fountains, or fruitcake makers raise your hands, stop and hear this case for Worst … [Read more...]
MCI, AT&T, and Publisher's Clearinghouse have your number. They all have great deals for you that will change your life, enabling you to spearhead a successful Puerto Rican lunar manned space program, have sexual relations with the media superstar of your choice, and assume … [Read more...]
My dad asked me to take him to a gun show. He wasn’t sure how to get to the place so I agreed to drive him. I wanted to fit in, so I went to Bass Pro Shop the week before to see if I could learn something about people who shop for guns. It looked like I was going to have to buy … [Read more...]