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As the economy continues to wander aimlessly across the GNP landscape, Americans have expressed their anger over the uncontrolled growth of rural sprawl into the pristine urban and concrete environments of the country. Invading rural clutter such as trees, deer droppings, crop … [Read more...]
I picked up my daughter from a party the other day, and while she was getting her boots on I was handed a beautiful Donna Karan handbag filled with lotions, cosmetics, makeover gift certificates, a new transmission, and several boxes of candy. It was worth nineteen times the … [Read more...]
A few nights back my wife was awakened by a strange noise coming from the lower level of the house. Naturally, because I’m the closest thing to a man in the house, I was elected to get up and check it out. I woke our dog Boo to help with the investigation. She slowly got up from … [Read more...]
Whyfore didn’t I know? And howfore did I get involved? The error in fact -- if, in factfore it was an error -- was printed on another news site in another state, nowhere nigh the newspaper for which I scribble. The news story was about a Florida guy named Abraham Shakespeare … [Read more...]
Stepping over candy cane wrappers and remnants of a half-eaten gingerbread house, The Big Guy cautiously approached the blue Snuggie slumped on the couch. Scenes from “It’s a Wonderful Life” flashed across the television, the sound muted. “It’s time,” he said, prying a glass of … [Read more...]