NEW-RELATIONSHIP CONTRACT (INFORMAL VERSION) [Note: Use this precedent if you are a typical adult male] DATE:[Insert] PARTIES: 1) [Insert name of typical adult male] 2) [Insert name of woman] DECLARATIONS: [Note: Insert the male’s requests below. Standard ones are … [Read more...]

I must confess: I’m new to baseball. As I watched my local team, the Philadelphia Phillies, advance through the 2009 playoffs, I relied on my baseball-savvy friends to teach me the players’ names and rules and such. What followed was a crash course in basics of the sport and the … [Read more...]

The last time I went to the dentist she cleaned my teeth, and then with a disappointed and horrified look on her face she handed me a gum massager: "You need to use this twice a day. Everyone should.” I replied “To be honest, I’m brushing three times a day. I’m flossing. I’m not … [Read more...]

The San Francisco Kennel Club is having their annual dog show next weekend. How many of you own dogs? I love dogs. Aren’t they great? I own two myself. Ahhh, but how many of you own purebred, pedigreed dogs? People can go crazy with stuff like that, and that’s putting it mildly. … [Read more...]

Lately I find myself continually perplexed, maybe even a little haunted, by this stick family decal trend. At first I thought, weird and quickly forgot. Then, as if by the mere act of noticing, I couldn’t stop. They appeared everywhere. In the drive-thru line at Starbucks, the … [Read more...]