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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard Roulette Airlines -– where we believe you have a 1 in 36 chance of arriving safely at your destination. Our mission is to eliminate the boredom of airline travel and make flying fun! Our low cost airline also believes in eliminating the … [Read more...]
Thanksgiving is leftovers, Christmas looms, and here in the middle, I see the shadows of shopping circling around me like vultures in gift wrap. Guys like me dread this time of year. Why? Because we hate full-contact sports for which we don’t understand the rules. Football, I … [Read more...]
Once again, the arrival of the holidays finds me sorting mail with trepidation, painfully anticipating those seasonal letters from family and friends. You know the ones straight from the “Norman Rockwell” family. Sometimes they are so sickeningly sweet they should come with their … [Read more...]
I have a growing collection of photos of the inside of my pants pocket. I don’t mean to. It’s one of those technology things. At least I’m not “butt-calling” anyone like one of my uncles manages to do on a routine basis. Again, technology. I carry my cell phone in the pocket … [Read more...]
First came my “revolting period.” A period of loneliness when women looked at my pocked face, repulsed, while muttering words such as ugly or gross out or double cheeseburger on rye. The last one never made sense, but I used to hear it a lot before I was fired from that fascist … [Read more...]