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Ah, Thanksgiving. Time to sit down at a table heaped with goodies, contemplate all the things you are thankful for, and see how long you can sit in the company of loved ones without losing your sanity. It is rare that I get to spend Thanksgiving with family; the holiday is too … [Read more...]
Little Maggie was my best friend. I sure will miss her. I was sure she would be safe in the toilet. It was just a routine goldfish bowl cleaning. I screamed in horror when I forgot and flushed. Denial always comes first. I thought: "She's just frolicking in the septic tank. … [Read more...]
First of all, I wasn't 500 years old. They totally made that up. I was maybe 75, max, which – don't get me wrong – was pretty old back then. Decrepit actually. When God chose me for this genius shipbuilding project, I should have said, “Thank you very much for the honor, Your … [Read more...]
Computers were supposed to make the world easier. But what about the cyber waste? The computer experts repeatedly emphasize that nothing is truly deleted on computers. Thus, there must be debris orbiting something somewhere in cyberspace. This means the recycle bin for documents, … [Read more...]
(WARNING: May contain Nobel Prize spoilers) ~-~-~-~-~-~ Everybody loves a scientist. They create stuff we depend on, they generally pose no threat of stealing your girlfriend, and those form-follows-function corduroy pants they wear make funny noises when they walk. Scientists … [Read more...]