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The first car I ever owned was a 1966 Triumph Spitfire I bought for $250 bucks. If those were pesos, it was still a bad deal. It had an engine less powerful than a hand- held blender from Sears and a heater that was perfect if you were Frosty the Snowman and hated heat, or lived … [Read more...]
True story: In 1993, pressured by animal rights groups, General Motors finally ended its decade-long practice of using live animals (dogs, rabbits, pigs, ferrets, mice) to test the effects of car crashes. Yes, they were putting sedated animals into cars, crashing them, … [Read more...]
NEWS BULLETIN: Washington takes action! The President announced today that he was going to take action and this action would clarify the situation at hand. When pressed on what action and what situation, the White House issued a statement that by stating the President was … [Read more...]
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Jones: I am writing this letter to announce my retirement as your dog. I have toiled in your service for the past eleven years, but most recently I have developed a severe case of pooch burnout. Our relationship has been at best cordial, and at other times … [Read more...]
Patient Name: Harold, but goes by “The Very Hungry Caterpillar” Session notes: Patient has possible abandonment issues due to lack of parental supervision after birth and has taken to “feeding his feelings” instead of working through them. Requested he keep a food journal and … [Read more...]