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Since I turned pro, I never worry about myself. I’m too busy worrying for others. That’s how I earn my living. I’m a professional worrier. From fretting about my sister’s toddler running into the street to global climate change, I carry the world on my sensitive shoulders like … [Read more...]
I can’t remember when I began forgetting things, but I first felt the consequences in fifth grade. My teacher (what was her name?) gave out late notes to students who forgot their homework. Your parent had to sign it and—get this—you had to put it in your backpack and bring it … [Read more...]
My old Labrador, Scout loves to get drunk. When our plum tree drops fruit, he lets it ferment before eating them for a buzz, or more accurately to get inebriated. This year I curtailed his habit by telling the boys to pick and sell plums to anyone willing to drop 25 cents for a … [Read more...]
Prince and Rapunzel have heard that year one of marriage is the hardest. In which case, Prince cannot wait for year two. Prince is happy to be married, do not misconstrue his words, but there are certain aspects of marriage which he was not prepared for. This realization … [Read more...]
I was at the grocery store the other day when I saw it: The Special Collector’s Edition of People Magazine’s coverage of the birth of William and Kate’s second child. Oh. My. God. I got so excited I was shaking. First I bought a pair of rubber gloves and put them on so when I … [Read more...]