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Congressional Republications recently introduced a bill that would compel U.S. citizenship to begin at conception. The new bill, the Family Patriotic Planning Act, proposes to restrict U.S. citizenship to persons who have been both conceived and born inside the United States; … [Read more...]
[Council Officers: Nicholas, Terry, Sybil; Rabble-rousers: Tibbs, Polly; Full bladder: Audrey] Nicholas: “The first meeting of the Council will now come to order.” Tibbs: “Order what? Take-out?” Polly: “I have been craving Thai.” Tibbs: “What about fish?” Polly: “Who … [Read more...]
“This is your captain speaking,” said Captain Tad Armstrong. “We have reached a cruising altitude of 80,000 feet—" “30,000,” said Sunny Davis, the co-pilot. “You sure?” “Yeah.” “Dang,” Tad said. “The 3 always looks like an 8 to me…—an altitude of 30,000 feet. So just sit … [Read more...]
It was because of Jimmy Pritchett that Abby was a frail ten year old. She was terrified to eat in the cafeteria, so she would sneak food in between classes with her head stuffed in her locker, so no one would see. Her short frizzy curls were sticking out of her locker when she … [Read more...]
When I was a kid we had a dog named Peggy, I’m not talking about her. I’m talking about the one in the commercials. Why does it seem like every time I call about my account I get Peggy. I don’t like Peggy anymore. She sounded nice at first but as we talk I discover she doesn’t … [Read more...]