I came back into my dorm room feeling alright. My shoes were clean and the son was out. The girl I asked out didn‘t tell me she was busy. Everything was great. Hell, I was even lucky enough that my roommate, Mitch, wasn’t in the room. I had no intention of doing homework so I … [Read more...]

I won't mention any names, but someone I'm married to has been known to misplace his glasses occasionally. I used be smug about this. I wore glasses or contacts since I was a child and I never misplaced them. That's because I never took them off. At my first childhood eye exam, … [Read more...]

(Music) Baby, I need your lovin’.. Baby I need your lovin’ BEEP spill on aisle 10, cleanup on 10 please! (Music) Baby, I need your BEEP Price check from produce at register 5 please! (Music) Baby, BEEP We have an overflowing toilet in the women’s bathroom, maintenance please … [Read more...]

You can only get by in life for so long making off-the-cuff and, often times, inappropriate smart-ass remarks. Sooner or later, you find yourself surrounded by young, impressionable children. Children who are looking for answers to everyday questions that are essential to … [Read more...]

"Silver Alert: We have a missing housewife. She's 5'5" tall, heavier than she looks, blonde hair with grey roots. Last seen careening down a hill in her old neighborhood riding a 21-speed bike. She's wearing a purple helmet, orange madras shorts and white Keds. Likely has bugs in … [Read more...]