Call me Puce. I’m the Rodney Dangerfield of the color spectrum. I get no respect. Take my name. Notice how awkwardly it rolls off the tongue. Say it aloud: “Puce.” With the proper inflection it sounds like you are smelling something out of a teenager’s gym bag. Phonetically, it … [Read more...]

I screamed at an inanimate object. I didn’t start the day planning to verbally assault anything. It just kind of happened when I struggled to put a fresh sheet onto our queen-sized mattress. No matter which way I turned, tugged, yanked, stretched and pulled it, the sheet defied … [Read more...]

YOUR INBOX FROM: Me TO: Long list of names that you don’t know, much less care about. SUBJECT: IMPORTANT. THESE ARE REAL TIPS THAT WILL SAVE YOU FROM LOSING ALL YOUR MONEY. SOME MAY SAVE LIVES! YOU WILL THANK ME. PROBABLY PROFUSELY. These are really important. Pass them on to … [Read more...]

Porter Elementary wasn't a school for ambitious kids. At the end of fourth grade, if you could tie your shoelaces in under eight minutes, you received a poster-sized gold star to hang up on your bedroom wall. And then it was on to fifth grade, which, if I remember correctly, … [Read more...]

I've never been much a fan of soap opera's, that is, until I had children. I realized at that point, my life had become just that...one big soap opera (Key music- Da Da Da!) As I sat at the breakfast table with my two boys, I suddenly imagined the camera crew and director … [Read more...]