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Maybe I waited too long to get started. I don’t know where the time went. It seems like only yesterday I was an incredible physical specimen. A Greek god. But somewhere between “Welcome Back Kotter” and “Boston Public” the pecs went to pot. When Jimmy Carter was in the White … [Read more...]
I can't believe its taken me this long to figure out: the kids are conspiring to drive me crazy. Not certifiable, just unhinged. I suspect they've been convening at midnight for strategizing sessions to plot my demise. I can only imagine they unfold a little something like this. … [Read more...]
"I’ve decided to open a restaurant. It will be a take-off on those neon eateries with their fleshy, nubile young servers whose real mission is to whet your appetite for more than what’s on the menu. My waiters and waitresses won’t be anything like those full-bodied babies. … [Read more...]
The Fat Fairy flew in last night. She flits into my bedroom, sparkly wings creating the tiniest breeze. She wore a rhinestone-encrusted cape, pink tights and a tiara. She got right to work, pat-patting a new layer of fat onto my thighs. She never stops to talk. She’s too busy … [Read more...]
In the news – National Archeologists discover tribe of lost employees In a discovery that is sure to stir renewed debate regarding business ecosystems, archeologists working in the Teaneck, NJ area have uncovered the existence of a previously forgotten group of employees working … [Read more...]