"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR!"TM SHOWCASE
Check Out Our Humor Writing Contest Results!
Congratulations to the Winners, Finalists, Semi-Finalists & Honorable Mentions in our
October-November 2008
Writing Contest!
Click any headline below to see the full entry, then scroll up or down to see other entries in the group.
All entries are carefully reviewed based on our exclusive "H-U-M-O-R"SM judging criteria:
- H = Humor -- Does it make us laugh?
- U = Universality -- Is it fairly "clean"?
- M = Moxie -- Does it have plenty of zing?
- O = Originality -- Is it fresh and new?
- R = 'Riting -- Is it well-'ritten?
(OK, "Writing," but we couldn't judge entries on their "H-U-M-O-W", could we?)
You, too, can get in on the fun, get published and win your share of $250.00 in prize money!
Enter "America's Funniest Humor"TMWriting Contest to claim (or regain) a spot in our Humor Showcase!
Join The Fun! Enter Our Humor Writing Contest Today!
October-November 2008 WINNERS...
(CLICK ANY TITLE TO SEE ENTRY)
New U.S. Citizenship Test: The Version You Didn't See
By Joel Schwartzberg,
This month, a new U.S. Citizenship test goes into effect that includes 100 new questions covering American government, American civics, and American history. (Given the
Invasion Of The Body-Hair Snatchers
By Anna Lefler,
[When a wife and mother of two in the prime of her life makes the shocking discovery that she is descended from Methodist werewolves, she
A Tryptophanian Thanksgiving
By Chad Hatfield,
Tryptophan—an amino acid found in turkey that purportedly makes people tired. Scientists have repeatedly asserted that the drowsiness frequently experienced on Thanksgiving can be attributed
Praise The Lord And Pass The Snake
By William Schmittq,
January 2, 2016
One of my English learning students from France opened up our conversation with the question “Have you ever ate a snake?” Now I've been around
Car Wars
By Dan McGinley,
I knew a guy who said cars reflect our identity. He arrived to work full of swagger and bravado, driving a massive, powerful Dodge Magnum
October-November 2008 FINALISTS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
Telephone Survey
By Claire Caudle,
I can't help but notice that too many articles of the previous years summer clothing have me doing the ol' "suck 'n zip." Now this
In My Spare Time, I Am Actively Seeking Employment (And Other Reasons You Should Date Me)
By Sheila Freeman,
I won’t waste your time with untruths of how I love the beach and the outdoors. I hate the beach and the gritty sand that
May I Help You
By June Hubatsek,
We were sixteen and could finally get our working papers. My best friend and I had made it to that magical age, and we were
The Amazing Poetry Converter
By Stephen Joseph,
Everybody loves poetry, but 98.5% of us have great difficulty deciphering the meaning of poems. Sure poetry is fun to read, but most of us
A Mapless Male Worth Saving
By Sue Anna Langenberg,
It is often noted that males who get lost refuse to ask directions. Not to weigh in on any feminist food fight or anything, I
Family Night Fiasco
By Mary Beth Weisenburger,
A long time ago, probably when I was pregnant with my first child and the resulting hormonal imbalance skewed my sense of reality, I read
What's His Is Mine
By Mary Beth Weisenburger,
I believe that a successful marriage must include openness, honesty, and mutual sharing of belongings. In order for a union to last, there should be
October-November 2008 SEMI-FINALISTS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
A Birthday Present Only A Dog Could Love
By Juliet Aucreman,
I struggle to remember my husband’s birthday. It’s in November. I’m from the East Coast, so I know I’m safe til the trees turn orange.
The Secret Spot
By Juliet Aucreman,
The Secret Spot by Juliet Aucreman Two months before I met my future husband, my cat vomited on the living room carpet. Back then, I
Beware Of The Prius
By Jean Follmer,
I’ve noticed that about every 5th car in the Bay Area is a Prius and that number appears to be growing rapidly. Although their appearance
My Imaginary Life
By Janice Hastert,
I like my imaginary life so much better than my real one. I even have a real wardrobe for my fantasies. After all, doesn't Barbie?
A Booger In My Shorts
By D.L. Heartz,
I think that I shall never see a booger that was so dangle-ly It all happened this one time right before I turned nine While
When Opposites Attack
By Dan McGinley,
My wife and I have adopted greyhounds for nearly seventeen years. We’ve always been enamored with their graceful athleticism, alert disposition, expressive eyes, and uncanny
Perceptions -- Not Taught In Real Estate 101
By Faye Riccitelli,
First impressions are everything they say, I recalled, weaving down the walkway past a rusted rake that leaned precariously against an old dog crate. An
What's Not to Like About Those Post-Debate Focus Groups
By Joel Schwartzberg,
Perhaps the most frustrating staple of post-debate network news coverage is that all-too-familiar battleground state focus group, the 20 or so "undecided" or "persuadable" voters
The Linen Closet
By Sue Thompson,
Lately I have felt as though my life has consisted of some seriously disorganized chaos. Yes, this represents a change as my life generally involves
October-November 2008 HONORABLE MENTIONS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
Office Clown
By Joe Cappello,
January 2, 2016
I work for this company, a typical nine to five office, complete with the usual cast of employee characters. It has a culture all of
Aging Gracelessly
By Tom Harris,
January 2, 2016
The change was correct; it was the receipt that bothered me. I couldn’t understand why I had been given the senior discount by the fast-food
Start The Music
By Tom Harris,
January 2, 2016
Whatever happened to elevator music? It seems to have become extinct, at least in public places, which is where elevator music performed its greatest service.
Camera House
By Tom O'Brien,
January 2, 2016
While making notes for a newspaper story about our town's annual summer music festival, I spied my colleague Wayne. He was working on a different
The Nuptuals Of Bobo
By Tom O'Brien,
January 2, 2016
Hi Mom and Dad, I just woke up after attending the most far out wedding(s) ever imagined. One of our guys at work, Bobo, who
Career Choices
By Faye Riccitelli,
January 2, 2016
Do you ever wonder about certain people’s choice of career? I do. For instance, just last week I was hospitalized, and in need of a
Shopping Woes
By Sue Thompson,
January 2, 2016
Shopping has been one of my favorite pastimes since, well probably since I learned how to say, “Charge it”. Whether my shopping trips involved clear
Lori's 'Chocolate Cake'
By Lori Heberle,
January 2, 2016
1. Bake a two-layer round cake, chocolate, reduced sugar, made with Splenda. 2. Let cool. 3. Mix up the sugar-free fat-free instant chocolate pudding to
Congratulations To EVERYONE Who Entered!
If your entry was not recognized this time, please don't give up! Writing humor is a specialized craft, and it takes time and effort to master any craft.
- Some entries were well-written, but needed more work setting up the humor and punching up the punch lines. Try structuring your work with distinct set-ups and punch lines throughout the piece.
- Other entries had plenty of punch, but relied on coarseness or vulgarity, which limited their potential readership. Try writing as if your piece were for a daily newspaper to achieve the most universal appeal.
However, just by entering you made a great effort and we commend you for it! (You already did better than those who just thought about entering, but didn't even try!)
We hope you will enter again and look forward to seeing more of your work!
Enjoy more award-winning humor in our exclusive Humor Showcase:
Winners | Finalists | Semi-Finalists | Honorable Mentions
Like to see your name in print? Love to rant and rave about your favorite topics? Channel that creative energy by entering our humor writing contests!
ENTER HUMORPRESS.COM'S HUMOR WRITING CONTEST!
Have Fun! Get Published! Win Cash Prizes!SM
- Entries should be 750 words or less.
- $250.00 in total cash prizes will be awarded. Five winners will be named.
- Winners, Finalists/Semi-Finalists & Honorable Mentions will be published online! Selections also may appear in optional print edition(s) with no book purchase required!
- Entry Fee is only $10, So Don't Miss Out. Enter Today!
- Multiple entries are allowed, including your columns previously published elsewhere. Each entry must include an entry fee.
- Book purchase is optional and is not required for entry.
(Get Book One! Get Book Two! Get Book Three!)