Everybody loves poetry, but 98.5% of us have great difficulty deciphering the meaning of poems. Sure poetry is fun to read, but most of us cannot understand a word of what the poet is trying to say. I have solved this persistent problem by inventing a computer program that converts the meaning of poems into everyday English. My program scans any poem and uses my patented (I/O) algorithm – that’s input output for the computer illiterate – and translates the poem into everyday plain language that anyone can understand.
Take for example, Stephen Hough’s prize-winning poem Early Rose:
So when the day dries
Dreams, wakes dew, and
Sunplay in dazzling green
Or hue, the perfume from
That secret rose will
Breathe our poem to every
Nose: sign language of love;
Encrypted script of ecstasy.
USING MY AMAZING POETRY CONVERTER, THIS DIFFICULT-TO-UNDERSTAND POEM EASILY TRANSLATES INTO:
A budding rose smells real nice.
Here’s another one, a poem by Kate Potter:
As you sleep to the stability of Monday,
you grasp the sanctity of sheets around you
like a winter landscape to hide beneath.
THIS POEM MEANS:
Get your lazy ass out of bed, weekend’s over.
Enigmas, by Pablo Neruda
I walked around as you do, investigating
the endless star,
and in my net, during the night, I woke up naked,
the only thing caught, a fish trapped inside the wind.
I didn’t catch any fish while fishing.
Here’s another example, Jack Maness, In Bed With My Wife
My cat is anxious now.
My wife’s pores are in her face,
and her teeth have width.
When I put my finger along my nose
to the corner of my eye,
I can see through it like a ghost,
Though I know it to be real.
MY AMAZING POETRY CONVERTER EXPLAINS THIS TO MEAN:
The man’s ‘cat’ is ready, willing and able, but he is resigned to the fact that he will not be getting any bed candy for the next seven to ten days.
Here’s everyone’s favorite, Maya Angelou, The Rock Cries Out to Us Today:
There is a true yearning to respond to
The singing river and the wise rock.
So say the Asian, the Hispanic, the Jew,
The African and Native American, the Sioux,
The Catholic, the Muslim, the French, the Greek,
The Irish, the Rabbi, the Priest, the Sheikh,
The Gay, the Straight, the Preacher,
The privileged, the homeless, the teacher.
They hear. They all hear
The speaking of the tree.
MY POETRY CONVERTER TRANSLATES THIS INTO:
God help you if you are any one of these, ‘cause if you are, you’re screwed.
Sylvia Plath, Balloons
Back, fat jug
Contemplating a world clear as water.
Shred in his little fist.
The fat slob is hogging the damn remote control!
Dreams by Langston Hughes
Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.
“You my babydaddy, now go out and get a job!”
from Venus and Adonis, by William Shakespeare
He looks upon his love, and neighs unto her;
She answers him as if she knew his mind;
Being proud, as females are, to see him woo her,
She puts on outward strangeness, seems unkind,
Spurns at his love and scorns the heat he feels,
Beating his kind embracements with her heels.
That beautiful girl he picked up at the bar… that’s a he, not a she, and he just slapped him.
Many people know Tupac Shakur as a rapper and a musician, but what many don’t know is that he was an amazing poet as well.
IF I INPUT, AMBITION OVER ADVERSITY, INTO MY AMAZING POETRY CONVERTER:
Take one’s adversity
Learn from their misfortune
Learn from their pain
Believe in something
Believe in yourself
Turn adversity into ambition
Now blossom into wealth
If you want to be somebody and make a lot of money at the same time, go out and rob some banks.
As you can see, my Amazing Poetry Converter is an ingenious tool to decipher even the most difficult of poems. It’s only $29.95 and you can order it using your credit card on my website, www.amazingpoetryconverter.com. Order yours today and let poems start making sense to you.