"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR!"TM SHOWCASE
Check Out Our Humor Writing Contest Results!
Congratulations to the Winners, Finalists, Semi-Finalists & Honorable Mentions in our
OCTOBER-NOVEMBER 2006
Writing Contest!
Click any headline below to see the full entry, then scroll up or down to see other entries in the group.
All entries are carefully reviewed based on our exclusive "H-U-M-O-R"SM judging criteria:
- H = Humor -- Does it make us laugh?
- U = Universality -- Is it fairly "clean"?
- M = Moxie -- Does it have plenty of zing?
- O = Originality -- Is it fresh and new?
- R = 'Riting -- Is it well-'ritten?
(OK, "Writing," but we couldn't judge entries on their "H-U-M-O-W", could we?)
You, too, can get in on the fun, get published and win your share of $250.00 in prize money!
Enter "America's Funniest Humor"TMWriting Contest to claim (or regain) a spot in our Humor Showcase!
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OCTOBER-NOVEMBER 2006 WINNERS...
(CLICK ANY TITLE TO SEE ENTRY)
Testing Your Patients
By Matt Foley,
The Holiday season is fast approaching, but let's not overlook the season we are currently in: Cold & Flu. Much less heralded than the commercially
Thanks and Misgivings
By Joel Schwartzberg,
I'm looking at a photo of myself topless. I was 5 years old, playing the role of an Indian in my Thanksgiving Day kindergarten play,
Technology Makes Death More Agreeable... Sort Of
By Kirt Boyd,
Early this morning Mary Folly lost control of her H2 Hummer when the block of wood she was using to reach the gas pedal slipped
Only 4 Hours Of Thanksgiving Shopping Left
By Cheryl O'Donovan,
January 2, 2016
All that remains of the herb stuffing is one stale crouton. Women ransack egg cartons and use Pam as mace. Visigoths sacking Rome. Suburban moms
The Truth About Toddlers
By Lisa Scott,
I can't believe its taken me this long to figure out: the kids are conspiring to drive me crazy. Not certifiable, just unhinged. I suspect
OCTOBER-NOVEMBER 2006 FINALISTS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
Vacation
By Sean Ellis,
"Every decade my brain loses its ability to recall painful events and instead translates the hard data into what neurologists call “palatable memory” which in
Cringing with Love -- Gifties for the Grandparents
By Karrie McAllister,
"Me to the Librarian: “Could you please help me find the decent craft books so my kids don’t give my parents another piece of painted
The Big Flap Over Same-Sex Marriage
By Frank Mucci,
Back to Cruel?
By Joel Schwartzberg,
The night before the first day of school was always the longest night of my life. I’d lie awake wondering about my locker location, what
Boom Time for Mid-Life Job Hunters
By Tom Wolferman,
While skimming through the ""new release"" stacks at the local library (no, not in search of “Why We Want You to Be Rich” by Donald
Hope Everything Comes Out All Right
By Tyler W.,
As I cherished my usual 9 a.m. business in the corner stall, my thoughts drifted from matter to matter. I believe I was somewhere between
OCTOBER-NOVEMBER 2006 SEMI-FINALISTS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
Beauty On The Beast
By Joel Schwartzberg,
I’ve always been the kind of person who believed that shampoo and conditioner could coexist in the same bottle; who believed soap should come in
Higher Learning and Taxidermy
By Kenny Blade,
Me and the boys were down at Joe Pete Wheeler’s Tire and Taxidermy last Wednesday and we got to talking about the local high school.
No Oscars, No Grammies and No Masterpieces
By Ken Bobrosky,
I can’t act, I can’t sing and I can’t draw. I am a fine arts dropout and I can blame it on my elementary school
An Organizer for My Organizer
By Brad Manzo,
I love electronic gadgets. In fact, I’ve become so obsessed with gadgets, that I have gadgets for my gadgets. For example, I’ve got an organizer
The Art Of Communication
By Charla Belinski,
I had the pleasure of carpooling a gaggle of girls home from the bowling alley last weekend and all I can say is “ohmigod –
What's Hair Got To Do With It?
By Linda C.,
Going to a new doctor’s office is the pits. I don’t know the waiting game, but judging by the crowd, it’ll be awhile. General surgery
Bluegrass Witch
By Sally Doherty,
Matt, Clover, a friend named TJ and I went to a free bluegrass music concert on Thursday night. I set up a blanket and picnic
Out of Closet Experience
By Laurie Fabrizio,
It’s happening again, the closet fairies are on strike. Where are the little buggers when you need them? Shelves are bursting, hangers are askew and
All In A Name
By Cathy Hall,
Is there something in the water that celebrities drink right before they give birth? Something capable of completely knocking out the part of the brain
Taking A Stand
By Cathy Hall,
I see Frankenstein’s holding one of Santa’s elves, so it must be time to check my Christmas shopping list. If I’m being perfectly honest, the
Ghosts, Goblins, and Election Posters
By Bob Holt,
It was a dark, quiet, and spooky Halloween night of 2006. All that could be heard was the whistling of the wind, a dog howling
A Holiday With the Retired Folks... or Maybe Not
By Mary Kirchhoff,
I’m looking forward to visiting my parents during the holidays. There’s nothing like a visit with the folks to remember why you live 600 miles
Cash-Less Finances
By Cash-Less Finances,
My favorite chant was, “Charge It!” But the words lost their appeal when financial institutions introduced options allowing me to direct automatic deductions, send zip
The Stinky Diver Incident
By Kevin McDermott,
Day One: 1432: One sunny afternoon my lovely bride, Kate, was in the back yard chatting with our neighbor, Laura. The ladies’ two five-year-old children
OCTOBER-NOVEMBER 2006 HONORABLE MENTIONS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
Bus Rage
By Laurie Fabrizio,
January 2, 2016
Drivers beware, there’s a new short fused teenager in town. She is able to drive one handed while “flipping you the bird.” If you cut
Beware The Helpful Spouse
By Terry Fitterer,
January 2, 2016
Ok, I’ll confess…it was me you heard screaming, “Chivalry is NOT dead!” from the rooftop. Trouble is, I’m convinced my husband was the only one
The Beulah Hubbard P.D.
By Ralph Gordon,
January 2, 2016
Most people would never believe that a tiny little place like Beulah Hubbard, Mississippi, would have a police department, but we did. We had two
Car Techy
By Carol MacAllister,
January 2, 2016
I bought a new car the other day and drove it home cautiously because I wasn't sure which button did what. When I arrived home,
Engagement Clam
By Carol MacAllister,
January 2, 2016
“Finally,” everyone sighed when Mike quietly told his brother and sisters that he planned to propose marriage to Courtney. Mike wanted to surprise her, catch
Whadda You Lookin At!
By Kevin McDermott,
January 2, 2016
Does anyone remember how tortuously hot the summer of 1999 was? Well I do, because that’s the summer I took Danny, then nine-months old, and
The Snake Boy of Alligator Lake
By Gary McDonald,
January 2, 2016
This story goes way back. Back before Clive got nose reduction surgery because his honker was so large. Back before Cloey went to a plastic
Why Old Chop Preferred Ice Cream to Steak
By Gary McDonald,
January 2, 2016
Chopley Splinters was an odd dude. He was the only neighbor living northwest of our shack up at the headwaters of the Miscanimba River which
Potty Train
By Joel Schwartzberg,
January 2, 2016
If you’re a frequent Maplewood, New Jersey train commuter, you’ve probably noticed the foul odor hitting you like a slimy smack in the nose at
Enough Multi-Tasking!
By Sue Thompson,
January 2, 2016
For anyone who has been on a job search in the past 10 years, I can only assume that the topic (or skill) of “multi-tasking”
Congratulations To EVERYONE Who Entered!
If your entry was not recognized this time, please don't give up! Writing humor is a specialized craft, and it takes time and effort to master any craft.
- Some entries were well-written, but needed more work setting up the humor and punching up the punch lines. Try structuring your work with distinct set-ups and punch lines throughout the piece.
- Other entries had plenty of punch, but relied on coarseness or vulgarity, which limited their potential readership. Try writing as if your piece were for a daily newspaper to achieve the most universal appeal.
However, just by entering you made a great effort and we commend you for it! (You already did better than those who just thought about entering, but didn't even try!)
We hope you will enter again and look forward to seeing more of your work!
Enjoy more award-winning humor in our exclusive Humor Showcase:
Winners | Finalists | Semi-Finalists | Honorable Mentions
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