"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR!"TM SHOWCASE
Check Out Our Humor Writing Contest Results!
Congratulations to the Winners, Finalists, Semi-Finalists & Honorable Mentions in our
June/July 2005
Writing Contest!
Click any headline below to see the full entry, then scroll up or down to see other entries in the group.
All entries are carefully reviewed based on our exclusive "H-U-M-O-R"SM judging criteria:
- H = Humor -- Does it make us laugh?
- U = Universality -- Is it fairly "clean"?
- M = Moxie -- Does it have plenty of zing?
- O = Originality -- Is it fresh and new?
- R = 'Riting -- Is it well-'ritten?
(OK, "Writing," but we couldn't judge entries on their "H-U-M-O-W", could we?)
You, too, can get in on the fun, get published and win your share of $250.00 in prize money!
Enter "America's Funniest Humor"TMWriting Contest to claim (or regain) a spot in our Humor Showcase!
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June/July 2005 WINNERS...
(CLICK ANY TITLE TO SEE ENTRY)
X Marks The Spot
By Patrick "Patch" Rose,
I love Ash Wednesday. It’s the only day where it’s socially acceptable to walk outside with a filthy face. The effects of this holy day
Summer Vacation Fun
By Lisa Barker,
The kids all want to go to Disneyland, but I don’t see what the big deal is. I mean, it’s not like we don’t ever
Men Who Cook and Other Fairy Tales
By Gregg Podolski,
People stare at my wife dumbfounded when she tells them I’m the chef in the relationship. Upon hearing such astonishing, gender-defying news, they all say
June/July 2005 FINALISTS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
While Your Life Is Good... I Have A Nice Long Name
By David Andrukonis,
The difference is not an easily memorable phone number or a simple address, but the length of our names. Say, for the sake of argument,
Go To The Dentist? I'd Rather Have A Baby!
By Cindy Dwyer,
When I was in labor with our son, my husband turned to me, gently wiped the damp strands of hair out of my eyes and
Have You Met My Cousin, Feng Shui?
By Mary Ketarkus-Brown,
New age stuff sells. I know because I've bought most of it. For me a "yes," "no," or "try again later" answer to major life
Memoirs of a Mini-Van
By Terra O,
Excitement pulses through my fuel line each time the key is turned to start my engine. I anticipate the events of each day with my
Get Fit Or Don't
By Gregg Podolski,
There’s an old saying that goes, "Everybody could stand to lose ten pounds." This is typically followed up with another old saying: "Please pass the
Great Mysteries of Comedy, Part I: The Legendary 'Unfinished Joke of Sparta
By Doug Powers,
From cover to cover throughout these meticulously researched volumes, you will find many stories of comedians and humorists who stood up against tremendous odds, stared
Ring of Fire
By Deborah Sharp,
I’d like to tell you when I faced my fear of karaoke that the stunning beauty of my voice brought a reverent hush to a
June/July 2005 SEMI-FINALISTS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
June/July 2005 HONORABLE MENTIONS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
Phone High Jinks -- Or, What Goes Around Comes Around!
By Lisa Barker,
January 2, 2016
I finally got my kids back. You know how the minute you pick up the phone the kids are there? “Mom, I need to know
Kids Babysitting Themselves... Or Not?
By Peggy Brenden-Swanz,
January 2, 2016
Like the long-awaited days when your children go off to kindergarten, are potty trained, and on their way to college, you parents will mark as
Bikki The Stinker
By Amanda Burchell,
January 2, 2016
I suspect my youngest son had seen the dog in the pet shop earlier, while I was busy with the grocery shopping. I was only
Wonders in the Wilderness
By Vicky DeCoster,
January 2, 2016
After several summers of vacationing in northern Minnesota, I now know the real reason why the pioneer women died so young … they all had
The Mysterious Roadside Pooper"
By Angela (" Gertrude Butterbean") Gillaspie,
January 2, 2016
My sister Luler-belle called me this morning and shared an interesting tale. On her way to work while stopped at a busy intersection, some movement
Scrapbooking: Gigantic Waste of Time
By Mary Ketarkus-Brown,
January 2, 2016
Want your life to having meaning? Take up scrapbooking. First, take a class. Second, discover that all the stickers, special scissors and Band-Aids cost extra.
Buggin’ Out in Florida
By Lorrie MacDonald,
January 2, 2016
When I moved from Chicago to Tampa, Florida in December, I knew I’d have to make some adjustments. In return for beautiful weather, pristine beaches
Rotten Apple
By Craig Nixon,
January 2, 2016
As a competition junkie, it was refreshing to meet another in the form of a first-year history teacher from Nebraska by the name of Nolan
On The Move and On The Take. When News Breaks, We Fix It
By Michael Pollick,
January 2, 2016
Whenever I happen to be in a new city on vacation, I inevitably wind up watching at least one local news program. You'd think this
Thanksgiving
By Kim Risburg,
January 2, 2016
Ah, Thanksgiving. Time to sit down at a table heaped with goodies, contemplate all the things you are thankful for, and see how long you
Congratulations To EVERYONE Who Entered!
If your entry was not recognized this time, please don't give up! Writing humor is a specialized craft, and it takes time and effort to master any craft.
- Some entries were well-written, but needed more work setting up the humor and punching up the punch lines. Try structuring your work with distinct set-ups and punch lines throughout the piece.
- Other entries had plenty of punch, but relied on coarseness or vulgarity, which limited their potential readership. Try writing as if your piece were for a daily newspaper to achieve the most universal appeal.
However, just by entering you made a great effort and we commend you for it! (You already did better than those who just thought about entering, but didn't even try!)
We hope you will enter again and look forward to seeing more of your work!
Enjoy more award-winning humor in our exclusive Humor Showcase:
Winners | Finalists | Semi-Finalists | Honorable Mentions
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- Entries should be 750 words or less.
- $250.00 in total cash prizes will be awarded. Five winners will be named.
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- Entry Fee is only $10, So Don't Miss Out. Enter Today!
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