"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR!"TM SHOWCASE
Check Out Our Humor Writing Contest Results!
Congratulations to the Winners, Finalists, Semi-Finalists & Honorable Mentions in our
June-July 2011
Writing Contest!
Click any headline below to see the full entry, then scroll up or down to see other entries in the group.
All entries are carefully reviewed based on our exclusive "H-U-M-O-R"SM judging criteria:
- H = Humor -- Does it make us laugh?
- U = Universality -- Is it fairly "clean"?
- M = Moxie -- Does it have plenty of zing?
- O = Originality -- Is it fresh and new?
- R = 'Riting -- Is it well-'ritten?
(OK, "Writing," but we couldn't judge entries on their "H-U-M-O-W", could we?)
You, too, can get in on the fun, get published and win your share of $250.00 in prize money!
Enter "America's Funniest Humor"TMWriting Contest to claim (or regain) a spot in our Humor Showcase!
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June-July 2011 WINNERS...
(CLICK ANY TITLE TO SEE ENTRY)
Origami Hullabaloo
By Christopher Hivner,
A few years ago I took a class in specialized origami. This wasn’t making birds or butterflies out of construction paper, our paper was sized
Alumni Newsletter
By Lloyd S,
ALUMNI NEWSLETTER CENTRAL STATE CORECTIONAL FACILITY ALUMNI ASSOC MEMORIUM: It is with sadness to report that Benny Braskowitz (08) died in a shootout in a
Letters from "Home"
By Thomas Wheeler,
As a criminal trial court judge, I get several letters a week and sometimes several a day from folks who have a lot of "not
Couple Therapy
By David Crawford,
January 2, 2016
Our kids were out of the house on sleepovers, so my wife and I did what any other normal, healthy couple would do under such
Proust vs. the Lion
By Vincent Stoia,
Adam and Brian stood side by side in the Bronx Zoo, watching the lion’s tail swish back and forth. Adam looked at the black sky.
June-July 2011 FINALISTS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
Environmental Fear: As State Parks Shut Down, Public Land May Revert to Wilderness
By Carlos Arnade,
The recent state budget crisis has forced 9 Governors to close 32 state parks and 24 wilderness areas. Across the country alarmed environmentalists are warning
Scientists Close to Proving that Humans Mated with Neanderthals
By Carlos Arnade,
For years scientists have debated whether humans and Neanderthals had mated. Scientists agree that Neanderthals, a primitive, thick boned cousin of modern humans who went
Chocolate
By Robert Curreli,
The experts say that chocolate is good for you – in moderation. I suppose anything is good for you in moderation except maybe hemlock. (Google
My Day on the Summit
By Hank Greene,
I was 10 years old, frozen with fear atop a snow-covered hill, boots strapped into my snowboard, staring down at the man made ski jump
SNAPPED!
By Juliana LeRoy,
If you have ever seen an episode of “Snapped!” you will recognize the pattern. Each tells the story of some family’s unraveling, usually ending in
Go to Bed Mad, Please!
By Rachel Turner,
I am an expert on marriage. What can I say…I just “get it”. This is why, whenever possible, I like to share my wisdom with
June-July 2011 SEMI-FINALISTS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
Creating Chaos From Order
By Pete Ballard,
[Council Officers: Nicholas, Terry, Sybil; Rabble-rousers: Tibbs, Polly; Full bladder: Audrey] Nicholas: “The first meeting of the Council will now come to order.” Tibbs: “Order
Lucky Charms
By Pete Ballard,
“This is your captain speaking,” said Captain Tad Armstrong. “We have reached a cruising altitude of 80,000 feet—" “30,000,” said Sunny Davis, the co-pilot. “You
The Devil Wears Freckles
By Kerry Bishop,
It was because of Jimmy Pritchett that Abby was a frail ten year old. She was terrified to eat in the cafeteria, so she would
I Don't Think I Like Peggy
By D. Michael Craft,
When I was a kid we had a dog named Peggy, I’m not talking about her. I’m talking about the one in the commercials. Why
Schnookworks
By Ivy Eisenberg,
We’ve launched a new company. It is called Schnookworks. We schnooks specialize in providing value-added services to help everyone around us succeed in their goals.
The Legend
By Joan Emmer,
There is a legend that has been passed down from generation to generation of women in Central New Jersey, whispered under the cover of darkness
Wheel to My Fortune
By Neil Friesner,
I want Vanna's job. Unless you live under a rock like those guys in the Geico insurance commercial, you know Vanna White, the perpetually smiling
Nose Nut
By Peter Quinn,
Cursed with my intelligence but blessed with her mother’s good looks, The Princess, my 19-month-old daughter stood there triumphant. This was by far her crowning
June-July 2011 HONORABLE MENTIONS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
Hard-Hats and Hairspray
By Fiona Young-Brown,
January 2, 2016
During my first visit to Kentucky, my soon-to-be husband Nic took me to the eastern part of the state to meet his family. As is
Gorilla Man
By Kendall Yung,
January 2, 2016
I work for a lawn mowing company. We have many types of roughneck characters, but I believe I met the most terrible of them, on
Another Dimension of Time and Toilets
By Heather Davis,
January 2, 2016
While shopping for an elusive and particular pair of shorts for picky Daughter 1, we discovered a fairly large thrift shop. Since I wasn’t even
She Who Laughed Last
By Sandra Fischer,
January 2, 2016
Euleila Ann most likely came into this world laughing instead of crying. She said she inherited her sense of humor, because she loved to tell
Cow-Hunting in Connecticut
By Joseph Fusco,
January 2, 2016
Tucked away in the southwest corner of Connecticut, the Nutmeg State, is the quaint hamlet of Plainsfolk. Rolling hills of green pasture, winding dirt roads,
Pardon My Baby's Hand in Your Purse
By Paige Kellerman,
January 2, 2016
Talking to God is a good thing. Sometimes I like to close my eyes and quietly go through the things I could be doing better.
Learning the Hard Way
By Juliana LeRoy,
January 2, 2016
When you combine high curiosity and low impulse control you pretty much have my son. Thomas has high-functioning autism, which in his case means the
You're Never Too Old To Be Scared
By Cindy Small,
January 2, 2016
Having literally blown into North Alabama from New Orleans following Hurricane Katrina, my life became surreal as I searched for distractions in any way I
Congratulations To EVERYONE Who Entered!
If your entry was not recognized this time, please don't give up! Writing humor is a specialized craft, and it takes time and effort to master any craft.
- Some entries were well-written, but needed more work setting up the humor and punching up the punch lines. Try structuring your work with distinct set-ups and punch lines throughout the piece.
- Other entries had plenty of punch, but relied on coarseness or vulgarity, which limited their potential readership. Try writing as if your piece were for a daily newspaper to achieve the most universal appeal.
However, just by entering you made a great effort and we commend you for it! (You already did better than those who just thought about entering, but didn't even try!)
We hope you will enter again and look forward to seeing more of your work!
Enjoy more award-winning humor in our exclusive Humor Showcase:
Winners | Finalists | Semi-Finalists | Honorable Mentions
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