"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR!"TM SHOWCASE
Check Out Our Humor Writing Contest Results!
Congratulations to the Winners, Finalists, Semi-Finalists & Honorable Mentions in our
AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2012
Writing Contest!
Click any headline below to see the full entry, then scroll up or down to see other entries in the group.
All entries are carefully reviewed based on our exclusive "H-U-M-O-R"SM judging criteria:
- H = Humor -- Does it make us laugh?
- U = Universality -- Is it fairly "clean"?
- M = Moxie -- Does it have plenty of zing?
- O = Originality -- Is it fresh and new?
- R = 'Riting -- Is it well-'ritten?
(OK, "Writing," but we couldn't judge entries on their "H-U-M-O-W", could we?)
You, too, can get in on the fun, get published and win your share of $250.00 in prize money!
Enter "America's Funniest Humor"TMWriting Contest to claim (or regain) a spot in our Humor Showcase!
Join The Fun! Enter Our Humor Writing Contest Today!
AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2012 WINNERS...
(CLICK ANY TITLE TO SEE ENTRY)
Becoming a Realtor
By David Woodside,
I'll describe how to be a Real Estate Agent, but first let me clear up any pronunciation confusion. Realtor® is pronounced with as many extra
A Word That is Safe
By Linda L. Zern,
“Sherwood, my darling of thirty plus years, we need a ‘safe word.’” “Okay. Why? Hunh?” My husband never complicates our conversations with excessive word usage.
A Pizza Party Funeral
By Melanie Stepp-Coughlin,
My sister and I have a death pact. Susan has vowed that, should I predecease her, she will not allow the funeral cosmetologist to put
Too Many Ways to Die
By Carlos Arnade,
January 2, 2016
There is only one way to be born, but, as I have learned over the years, there are thousands upon thousands of ways to die.
No Crew Socks, Thanks Anyway
By Mary Tompsett,
An endless national obsession continues to pervade our culture. That’s right, I’m talking about the unremitting influence of gratuitous socks and graphic violets. Well, I
AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2012 FINALISTS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
That Doggone Beer
By Neil Friesner,
I have recently heard of a new product hoping to cash in on the $50 billion that we spend on pets each year. By we,
Get Frankie!
By Christopher Hivner,
I am Chris Liveru^ux;;9*1ea-ux. Don’t try to pronounce it. It’s Belgian and can’t be spoken in English without special tongue prosthetics. Call me Chris Liver.
The Greatest Golfer That Ever Lived
By David Margolis,
With the passing of the dictator Kim Jong Il, the world lost one of the greatest golfers ever to play the game. In 1994 he
Tough Cookies
By Joel Schwartzberg,
FROM: Schwartzberg, Joel SENT: Monday, February 4, 11:17 AM TO: All SUBJECT: Cookies! Dear Colleagues, My daughter Cindy recently joined the Girl Scouts, so we’re
Farmers?
By Kevin Udell,
My retired parents seem to have some crazy need to wake up at 4:00 each morning. When did they turn into farmers? Is there a
AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2012 SEMI-FINALISTS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
The Great Communicator
By Kevin T. Boekhoff,
Most people don’t realize that I am a great communicator in the vein of Ronald Reagan, a/k/a The Great Communicator. Despite my grandest efforts to
And Yet They Advertise...
By Cy Creed,
There are certainly challenges as a single homeowner. Throw “female” into and you’ve got the makings of a “Lucy Episode.” (I can say that being
Attending High School Reunion Checklist
By Cindy Modlin,
Attending Your High School Reunion Checklist: 12 months before: Restrict calories. Schedule more workouts. Start using wrinkle cream. 9 months before: Worry that weight isn’t
Requiem For The Family Pet
By Peter Quinn,
Spot Q went to the big fire hydrant in the sky today. She succumbs to the long battle of being a dog. Spot is preceded
Indirect Deposit
By Joel Schwartzberg,
The paycheck I earned during my first few weeks in Hollywood wasn’t much — a small weekly stipend from Dick Clark Productions that barely covered
We Must Stop the Curse
By Cheri Thacker,
There’s a tragic cycle of parenting that carries from generation to generation that must be broken. It must stop with ours. It must stop now.
AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2012 HONORABLE MENTIONS...
(IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BY AUTHOR)
Sobriety Check Points
By Patty Clark,
January 2, 2016
Given life’s pitfalls, there aren’t enough hours in a day for meditative skills that will transform me into the Dalai Mama. The Tibetan head of
A Mooving Experience
By Tom Luddecke,
January 2, 2016
One day the cows clustered in the street. Where they came from, no one knew. One morning in May they were just there in the
Do You Know A High School Senior?
By Carl Megill,
January 2, 2016
September is a great month. There’s still time for lots of cookouts, the beginning of football season (PREDICTION: The Buffalo Bills will win the Super
Up, Up and ... AYEEE!
By Kathy Minicozzi,
January 2, 2016
I am not a nervous flyer. I love a window seat, and I will not hesitate to lean over and look out of it from
Going Anti-Highway
By Brian R,
January 2, 2016
I am an open road junkie, and find few things more enjoyable than strapping my yawning, confused children into a vehicle and traversing random back
Halloween At The Supermarket
By Lloyd S,
January 2, 2016
Our story begins in the lunch room of Low Cost Foods Supermarket on Halloween morning. Some people gathered there were plotting an evil scheme against
The Great Land Hurricane of 2012
By J. Eldon Baker,
January 2, 2016
Recently a storm blew through Darke County that the local weather affiliates categorized as a land hurricane. Most would have called this storm a straight-line
Congratulations To EVERYONE Who Entered!
If your entry was not recognized this time, please don't give up! Writing humor is a specialized craft, and it takes time and effort to master any craft.
- Some entries were well-written, but needed more work setting up the humor and punching up the punch lines. Try structuring your work with distinct set-ups and punch lines throughout the piece.
- Other entries had plenty of punch, but relied on coarseness or vulgarity, which limited their potential readership. Try writing as if your piece were for a daily newspaper to achieve the most universal appeal.
However, just by entering you made a great effort and we commend you for it! (You already did better than those who just thought about entering, but didn't even try!)
We hope you will enter again and look forward to seeing more of your work!
Enjoy more award-winning humor in our exclusive Humor Showcase:
Winners | Finalists | Semi-Finalists | Honorable Mentions
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- Entries should be 750 words or less.
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- Entry Fee is only $10, So Don't Miss Out. Enter Today!
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