Our story begins in the lunch room of Low Cost Foods Supermarket on Halloween morning. Some people gathered there were plotting an evil scheme against the store manager. The group consisted of the Scary Brothers; Scary Larry, Scary Harry and Scary Gary. Their sister Scary Mary was not there as she took the day off to take her grandmother Scary Gerry trick or treating.
The Scary siblings all worked at Low Cost Foods since graduating from high school. Scary Harry, being short of stature and lazy, found that he could nap behind the dog food bags in the pet food aisle for most of his shift without discovery. Scary Gary had the closing shift in produce where he would put out only enough stock to make himself look busy and the hardest thing he did was covering the potatoes with burlap as he left for the night. Scary Larry pushed a broom in the maintenance department and not much else, leaving the heavy work for his coworkers. Scary Mary skimmed coins from the cash register.
The reason for their nefarious plan was their dislike of working for a tyrant. Just because she paid them, she expected them to work! Scary Gary was a good snoop and found the payroll records and shared that Miss Management was making about three times what they were. Scary Larry, being a good computer hacker reversed the pay codes, but he did it too early in the week and the scheme was corrected before the checks were written. Since the payroll plot failed, Scary Harry began to think of how to eliminate the old bat.
The new idea was hatched by Scary Larry. A pretext had to be found to lure the old biddy into the backroom and dump her into the trash compacter. Scary Gary suggested that if they could make it look like an accidental death, they had a chance of getting her husband to share a portion of the double indemnity from her life insurance. The big idea was to get her into the trash compactor and push the start button without anyone seeing.
First Scary Harry shot out the lens of the security camera first with a slingshot. Then he jammed a box in the chute of the trash compactor and disconnected the wires of the safety interlock switch to simulate a malfunction. After putting a step stool in front of chute door, he called the manager to report a problem. Miss Management, being a hands on type, came back to investigate. When she stepped up to see; he pushed her in, closed the door, shorted the wires and pushed the start button.
Nobody else except the Scarys knew what happened. The manager had just disappeared. Scary Harry left the safety interlock shorted to explain why she was crushed if the body was found. They thought that chances were good that the body would never be found. The brothers acted surprised when problems began to arise over Miss Management’s absence.
After an hour, Ed Lewis, the deli manager, opened the compactor door to throw in some garbage. Ed faints, as Miss Management jumps out, screaming obscenities, covered with blood and garbage and smelling like a sewer. She immediately storms to the front of the store, yelling all the way, making little children cry and adults cringe in terror. On the way, she grabs a butcher knife from the meat department. At the service counter she hollers into the intercom, “I want every Scary who works for Low Cost Foods in front of the check-outs within thirty seconds!”
What the Scarys forgot was that the compactor container was emptied about three days before, leaving it less than half full. They also didn’t know that instead of being totally crushed, Miss Management had frantically dug into the freeboard area as the hydraulic ram pushed forward. After the ram retreated, she burrowed her way through the garbage like a mole into the throat of the machine. Then she clawed herself up the chute and waited for someone to open the door.
The last anyone ever saw of the Scary brothers or of the manager of Low Cost Foods, she was chasing them down Interstate 90 in the direction of Elyria, Ohio. She was armed with a butcher knife, dressed in garbage and screaming like a fire truck siren. As they passed Erie, Pennsylvania, Miss Management collected first prize for the best Halloween costume.