An endless national obsession continues to pervade our culture. That’s right, I’m talking about the unremitting influence of gratuitous socks and graphic violets. Well, I live with big-time violets everyday. African violets. And frankly, I don’t see how violets, African or otherwise, are such a national problem.
Granted, mine are a deep purple, a color that makes for unusually graphic violets. But really, is that so bad? I mean, c’mon. The two pots add a nice touch to my living room. And what’s all the fuss about violets in movies? Flicks like Driving Miss Daisy, Steel Magnolias, and American Beauty do bring to mind floral images, but if you’re in the market for mind-blowing violets, just stroll through a nursery.
Along with violets, we fear and feed our obsession with gratuitous socks. Gratuitous!? I sure wish someone would tell me where to find gratuitous socks because I’m still paying full price for mine.
Some people are continually on the prowl for more socks, new or different socks. We’re lucky there are rehab centers that treat socks addictions. Personally, I love going barefoot or wearing sandals but when the weather cools, OMG, my body craves socks!! Preferably a warm cotton/wool blend. But the socks thing hasn’t become an addiction, thank heavens. I can take it or leave it. Come to think of it, it’s hard to remember the last time I had any socks at all.
I’ve read that men think of socks every seven seconds. Yikes!! No wonder they can’t multi-task! And men seem to pursue more socks than women do, at least judging by the twelve-packs of crews I’ve seen. Makes me wonder if crew socks became popular onboard ships? Maybe sailors had limited choices about socks and had to make do with a one-size-fits all. In that case, I guess boring, standard socks would be better than getting none at all.
Natural materials such as silk and leather have a reputation of adding style and heat to our socks life. Breaking a little sweat is fine, but most people agree that socks shouldn’t become a sweltering, suffocating ordeal. So, for healthy socks, insist being able to breathe.
And, oh my! Preferred positions for socks are all over the map! There are folks who don’t mind having socks in chaos, in piles, or with mismatched pairs. Others prefer orderly socks, always paired with the same mate and neatly tucked together in the same direction.
In many countries, selling and paying for socks are not criminal offenses, but legitimate transactions. Whether one enjoys gratuitous socks or pays for the experience, protection is paramount. Make sure the fit is good, check for visible holes, and avoid questionable or damaged goods. Remember, safe socks rocks!
A word about darning socks. Is someone pressuring you for more, or different, socks? I highly recommend darning as a simple, effective solution. Just say “Darn it!! What is it with you and socks?!? Go buy a twelve-pack of crews and leave me alone.”