There is a man who stands at the intersection of Cary Street and Thompson. He holds a cardboard sign that reads, "Homeless... Please Help." (I added the punctuation.) He's there every evening holding his sign, staring at the drivers of the passing vehicles with the most blank … [Read more...]

Last Christmas my wife received a number of well-intentioned presents from me. Her reactions to her gifts ranged from gently purring, “Oh, Honey, you really shouldn’t have” to curtly stating, “you REALLY shouldn’t have!” Shopping malls have always confused me. One time I drove … [Read more...]

A few weeks ago, my roommates and I decided to go play football at the park. Now, if you don't know me, I can play football like Michael Jordan plays baseball. In other words, I am awesome! Anyway, we got to the park and it was time to pick teams. I knew that I was going to be … [Read more...]

I’ve soaked in a bathtub every single night of my adult life. And I’ve used enough Avon bubble bath to fill the Dead Sea. If anyone deserves to own a hot tub, it’s me. I’d be in it every day, sometimes twice. I’d invite you over. I’d let you use it when I wasn’t home. I’m nice … [Read more...]

Those high-minded professors of social engineering who insist men and women share an inherently common mindset surely never considered The Three Stooges factor – that near universal phenomenon of indifferent women rolling their eyes at grown men reduced to sophomoric giggle-fits … [Read more...]