My oldest son started asking for a dog shortly after birth. Considering that my husband’s lungs shut down at the mention of a dog, I thought actually owning one might be a bad idea. I was able to deter Nick for awhile by simply having more children. When he pestered me for a dog … [Read more...]

A press release, just in from the North Pole, has shaken the globe. The release indicates Mr. S. Claus has submitted his resignation unless his demands are met. The text of Claus’s submission follows: “Effective immediately, I submit my resignation as CEO of Claus Enterprises. I … [Read more...]

Long before the Million Man March, war protests and gay pride demonstrations, the SGSH (Small Group of Scared Hares) hopped to Washington in protest of the Aschheim-Zondek (the-rabbit-died) test for pregnancy. Their demands were finally met when they threatened to have a love-in … [Read more...]

There is nothing new in the statement that we humans sometimes adorn ourselves in ridiculous and dangerous fashions. We can trace this directly back to Adam and Eve, who suddenly discovering that they are naked, immediately plaster themselves with designer fig leaves. Since then, … [Read more...]

One of the most divisive issues in America's modern political landscape is the problem of Fresno birth. No other question so enrages the Front Wing or brings out the Back-Wing bleeding hearts. The biblical injunction in Hiawatha 7:42 is unambiguous: “Neither shall ye suffer one … [Read more...]