It was because of Jimmy Pritchett that Abby was a frail ten year old. She was terrified to eat in the cafeteria, so she would sneak food in between classes with her head stuffed in her locker, so no one would see. Her short frizzy curls were sticking out of her locker when she … [Read more...]

When I was a kid we had a dog named Peggy, I’m not talking about her. I’m talking about the one in the commercials. Why does it seem like every time I call about my account I get Peggy. I don’t like Peggy anymore. She sounded nice at first but as we talk I discover she doesn’t … [Read more...]

We’ve launched a new company. It is called Schnookworks. We schnooks specialize in providing value-added services to help everyone around us succeed in their goals. Our key differentiators are that we get neither pay nor recognition for the services we provide. Experts in … [Read more...]

There is a legend that has been passed down from generation to generation of women in Central New Jersey, whispered under the cover of darkness by a loving mother to her shy daughter, shared along with a cup of tea and Twinkies in the warmth of a cozy kitchen, offered as a gift … [Read more...]

I want Vanna's job. Unless you live under a rock like those guys in the Geico insurance commercial, you know Vanna White, the perpetually smiling blonde that turns the puzzle letters on "WHEEL...OF...FORTUNE!!!". Actually, she doesn't even have to turn them anymore. Thanks to … [Read more...]