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Spiders! I hate spiders. I wasn’t born with a natural fear and loathing, but experience has taught me that you don’t want to get within hopping distance of one. Don’t try to tell me that spiders don’t hop. With a magnifying glass you would be able to see the anticipation in all … [Read more...]
My lady and I take off from work, and we’re one happy pair— Pimping our truck for the county fair. She wears extra large running shorts ’cause the elastic waist Lets her belly spread with all she tastes. Her bleached hair’s sprayed and standing tall; she sports a tight tank … [Read more...]
Did you hear about the Korean guy who married a pillow? He joined in holy matrimony with a body pillow imprinted with a female cartoon character. I wonder, was it Marge Simpson? Or Dilbert’s co-worker Alice with the big hair? I’m not a betting man—actually, not a man at all, … [Read more...]
I was trapped in a passenger van for hours of highway with a gob of kids. Being an old man now, I dreaded the trip. But it was strangely quiet. I looked around the van. Wires dangled from the ears of every youngster. Their eyes were glued to handheld devices with flashing … [Read more...]
Due to food allergies, I have digestive difficulties a vat of Pepto Bismol can’t fix. A life condition that’s…inconvenient, to say the least, but my love of travel makes it downright treacherous. I’ve learned to cope. I keep clean underwear in my glove compartment. Driving down … [Read more...]